We were all laughing a lot. - And he still was looking for a girl. I told him that I wasn’t with any girls and he looked at me like I had a contagious disease.
- we kept laughing. - Ok now, time to go.
- Ok, bye, sis… See you later, I guess.
- Good luck!
- Thanks, Twin, I’ll need it…

Cap. 2

In the car
- Why don’t you call her, ?
- We are very similar about almost everything, if you waste ten minutes of your time around us, you’ll understand.
- We’ll do that someday.
Isn’t he cute?!
- So, what happened to the girl last night?
- Told you… I was tired…
- C’mon, Tom! You know it isn’t true!

Tom’s mind
How does she know that?
Tom’s mind off

- Well, after I drove you home, I thought about coming back to the pub, but on the way I realized I wasn’t in the mood for sex anymore.
What?! Tom wasn’t in the mood for sex? That’s definitely something you don’t hear every day. And it’s not what he tried with me at the pub!
- I think she got disappointed.
- Whatever… I went home and slept. It’s not so hard for me to do it, give me 3 minutes on a bed and all you hear is the noise I make sleeping!
- HAHAHA! Ok, now we’re here. Wish me luck!
- What are you saying? I’m coming with you.
- You also want to die? Because it’s that what will happen if you enter that house! My mother will kill you too! Why do you think is not here?
- No, she won’t kill me. And she won’t kill you, ‘cuz I won’t let her do it!
I unlocked the door and got in the house with Tom right after me.
- Mom! I’m home..
- W-H-E-R-E W-E-R-E Y-O-U?
She said that so calmly, and that voice just got me even frightened! Gosh… I was in true danger!
- Ok. Got it. We need to talk.
- Do you think so? WHAT THE HELL YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING GOING TO THAT FREAKING SHOW? I said that you couldn’t go and you went anyway!
- MOM!! Please, you said I could go if I had the money for the tickets and got someone to go with me! I took that freaking part time job to save the money one year ago and was there with me!
- YOUR. ROOM. NOW!
- But, m..
- NOW!
I went to my room and Tom (tried to) follow me, but then my mom saw him.
- Who the hell are you?
Tears were on my cheeks when I answered.
- He is Tokio Hotel’s guitar player. Bill’s twin brother. And he was with me all the time after the show.
- WHAT?!
- Mom!! He wasn’t in bed with me, if that’s what you’re thinking! – Now I wish he was. – He drove me to ’s house and got me here today.
- You’re grounded from now on. That means, no friends until I say you can see them again! And you better listen to me this time or it’ll be worse!
- I’ll take him to his car, be back soon. Let’s go, Tom.
I was crying when I reached the car. Tom was right by my side.
- Hey, sweetheart! Don’t cry, she was worried about you!
- I know, I know. But she doesn’t understand!! Tokio Hotel is important to me. I killed my ass in that part time job to see you at the show and after all she still said no! Then I met you and now you have to go – tears were on my face and they didn’t want to stop pouring – I won’t see you again!
- Of course you will. The humanoid tour is over and now we are recording a new album. You know Bill doesn’t like media when we’re recording and you can spend some time with me and the guys at my house.
Yes, I think every single Alien in the world agrees with me when I say that, this part of their jobs is boring. Wait until the next album, so we can see them again is torture!
- Really? – still crying .
- Sure, sweetheart! I’ll be back, ok? See you at school tomorrow.
- What?
- Yeah, I’ll pick you every time I can, ok? I call you if there’s some day I won’t pick you ok?I’ll meet you at school. Call me if you need, alright? Don’t cry anymore, please. Here’s my number…
- Tom, thank you for all that you’ve done for me these last days ok? I know you must have most important things to do. – he cleaned a single tear out of my face - Thank you.
- Honey, spend time with my friends is important too. See you later, stop crying ok?
- Bye, Tom.
- Bye, honey.
Tom gave me a hug and a kiss on my forehead telling me that I would be ok. I entered the house again and walked straight to my bedroom. I wasn’t allowed to use my cell phone, laptop or talk to my friends, except at school, because there is nothing my mom can do to stop me from speaking to my friends.
About two weeks later, behaving myself and doing whatever I was told to do – I hate when I have to do something I don’t want to and I can’t say a word! – I could go to ’s place for studying. Tom was there at school – inside the car, of course – almost every day to pick me up. We went to ’s house and he was being very helpful – who would imagine that? Of course he couldn’t be there every day for me, ‘cuz he had a life and responsibilities. He was there for me if I needed him, though.
Then after a month, I could get people to come over my place – and by people I mean, Tom and . -
I think mom likes Tom. After three months talking to her, Tom convinced her to get me out of my punishment! LOVE YOU, TOM! YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?
- How did you do that?
- What?
- Get me out of my punishment?
- I told her I would be around you wherever you go. And now I have a surprise for you.
We stopped in front of a beautiful house. It wasn’t big, but it wasn’t small at the same time.
- Where are we?
- It’s a surprise. Now close your eyes.
I closed my eyes and he put his hands down on my back and walked with me into the house.
- Can I open my eyes now?
- Yes! Welcome. Come on in.
- Wh…?! Is this your place?
- Yes, it is!
When I turned to see the living room I saw Bill on the couch in front of the TV, Georg was on a very comfortable chair and Gustav was having a snack.
If I freaked out when I saw Tom after the show, you can imagine me now, looking at the four guys right in front of me. - OMG! TOM!! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?? -
When I looked at him he was trying to hide laughter. He was trying really hard to hold it, so he coughed a little. He didn’t make it! Everybody knew he was laughing...
- , this is Bill, Georg and Gust…eating again?
The boys said “heys” or “hellos” when Tom mentioned their names. – I was in my personal piece of heaven! - .
- Hey! I gotta feed myself. And who are you to talk about me? You’re always sleeping!
- Whatever, Bill, Georg, Gustav, this is . Sit over here, sweetheart!
Tom needed a nickname to call me, ‘cuz he thought was too formal. Got it? No? Neither did I, ‘cuz is already my nickname! Anyways, now he is used to call me honey or sweetheart… One day after school we were talking about something I can’t remember now and he said he has to take care of me, he also said if he found out I was dating, he would tell my mother. I think he is kidding – I HOPE he is! – Then Bill said:
- So, you’re the girl Tom is dating? Three months, hun?! That’s a big deal!
I looked at Tom and he looked at me and we both exploded in laughter!
- What?!? Me and Tom?...Together?
- What?! You’re hilarious, Bill!
Everybody looked at us like we were the crazy ones!
- We’re not dating, guys! Tom is like one of bests friends!
- But didn’t you told me you tried...
- Yeah, I said no. And nothing ever happened after that. I mean, sometimes he does something like that to me, but I know he is just kidding! We’ve became friends at the concert you did three months ago, remember? By the way, it was AWESOME!
- Is it true you lied to your mother to go to that show?
- Yes. And I have no regrets about that. It definitely worth the punishment!
Tom gave me a look like who says “Are you ok?” I just smiled and he got the “yes”.

- So, when did you got punish free?
- Today!
- Yeah, I wanted to surprise her, so I brought her here. You don’t mind right, bro?
- No, actually her face when she saw us was funny!

Bill’s mind
Hilarious actually!!
Bill’s mind off

I got really blushed and I tried to hide behind my hands.
- Look what you did, Bill!! She is embarrassed now.
Tom gave Bill a look like who says “Yes, it was…HAHAHA”.
- I’m sorry. Didn’t want to make you blush.
Then he gave me a hug. Why did he do that? I got EVEN more blushed if that’s possible! Tom came by my side and said:
- Don’t get embarrassed, baby. Bill is an idiot!
- HEY!
- Ok, now you sit here next to me, ‘cuz they’ll start again.
- Wh…?
Georg pulled me closer to him, because Bill and Tom started teasing each other – and by teasing I mean fighting – and that – Georg’s words – was dangerous.
The two Kaulitz started up a fight on the couch. Georg told me to ignore them, so he started talking to me and Gustav, who had his mouth full of food, too.
- It’s you who Tom is going to see almost every day at school?
- I guess so.
- Tom is right…
- About?
- Never mind!
I think Tom gave Georg a “I’m going to kill you if you tell her I said something like that” look.
- What?
Georg asked me something else and I haven’t the chance to insist on that question.
- Why did you lie to your mother?
- Well, she told me I could go if I got the money and someone to go with me. I did all she told me to do and she still said no, so I had to lie to her and I told her I was in a sleepover party.
Don’t you ever, ever do that to your mother! I thought I was going to die! Coldness and ignorance are the worst thing ever!
- Did you at least enjoy the show?
- What? The best ever! And it’s nothing because you’re my favorite band in the world! – Yes, it is because you’re my favorite band! -.
Then, Bill, Georg and Gustav said something Tom already knew all together:
- We are your favorite band?
- Yes, you are!
Bill and Tom stopped. Thanks God! They looked like two children fighting for a candy!
It was the best time ever! Gust and Tom were playing Guitar Band. Gust was winning and Tom was getting mad. Of course I couldn’t beat Gustav on the drums, I have no rhythm. I was better on the guitar. I couldn’t beat Tom, though. I never tried the vocals, I am not crazy enough to, I mean, Bill was there and I can’t sing AT ALL!
- Honey?
- Yes?
- It’s time for you to go home, it’s getting late and you just got out of your punishment. Better not to abuse it.
- Yeah, you’re right. Let me call a ca…
- I’ll drive you! Gosh, sometimes you’re really annoying with that thing you have about not bothering me…I like being bothered by you, I think I could be your personal dri…
- Don’t you dare to finish this sentence!
- Hey, wait! You just said Tom is right? Guys, heard that? I think I never heard someone saying Tom + right without “not” in the middle.

Cap. 3

We left the house and the guys were still laughing, I laughed too. Sorry, Tom!
We were going home and Tom was laughing at me because I couldn’t hit the rights drum notes.
- C’mon in, Tom. I haven’t seen you eat today, grab a sit and I’ll make you a snack.
- Where’s your mother? I’d like to ask her something.
- Is it about me?
- Of course it is!
- So, you can ask me!
- No, I’d rather not to push your luck.
- He is right, .
It’s the second time I hear Tom is right again today. NAO FAZ SENTIDOOOO


Tom’s mind
YAY! I’m right again!!
Tom’s mind off
- Hey, Mrs., How are you?
- Fine, thanks. What would you like to ask?
- Well, Mrs., next week it’s Bill’s birthday and mine. We are having a before party at a club and then, by the morning, we’ll go to an island that we rented for a weekend to enjoy our birthday.
YAY! Me and the guys celebrating the twins’s birthday!
- She would have to sleep there, right? Alone, with four guys?
My mom knows how many guys the band has?
- And , is going too.
I’m sure he just made that up right now.
- If you are taking , I think its ok. I mean, at least it’ll be one more girl. They’ll have their own room, won’t they?
- Of course they will!
- Ok, so have fun, you guys. See you next week. Don’t be late, you have school and homework to do, take it with you!
Gosh! My mother really knows how to spoil a good time!
Then mom left, and I was alone with Tom in the living room. I gave him his snack, and asked:

- You just came out with twinsis idea, didn’t you?
- Thank you for the snack, it’s delicious! And yes, I just came out with that idea.
- And the separated room, right?
- Yep! I thought your mother trusted me!
- Just because she likes you, it doesn’t mean she trusts you. I think she doesn’t even trust herself!
I gave him a smile.
- What are you doing about twinsis?
- Invite her of course! You could talk to her instead of me, couldn’t you?
- Good. I’ll owe her again. Whatever, if it’s for me to go to an island with my favorite band, I’ll do it.
- Love you, sweetie!
- Yeah, tell me something I don’t know!
So, he gave me a kiss, – on my cheek – a hug and a good night.
- I’ll call her, ok? Don’t worry, she’ll say yes. Talk to you tomorrow, ok?
- Ok, honey. See you at school.
- Sure. Bye, Tom
- Bye.
I owe twinsis again. I got my cell phone and dialed the number.
- Hello? Hey, twinsis, I need one more favor.
- You know twin, I already want to say no, but I’ll listen first and deny later…
- You suck, you know?
- You know that’s not the right way to ask something to someone, right?
- Ok! Sorry…
Jeez! She is annoying!!!
- What is it?
- Tom wanted me to ask you if you would like to celebrate his and Bill’s birthday with us in an island this weekend, so I can go too.
- Why?
- He asked mom and she asked him if you were going, then he said yes.
- Oooops…
- Will you go or not?
- I don’t know…
Die motherfucker, DIE!
- Please, twinsis! Tom will be there, in an island!
- Ok, now I’m tempted.
- BAKA1! You know you’ll go, couldn’t you just say yes?
1. Baka means idiot in Japanese.

- No, torturing you is pretty fun!
- I don’t think so!
- Ok, I’ll go, but you owe me one more!
I knew it…
- But it’s a vacati…
- I don’t care! You owe me one more!
- Ok, ok!
- When are we going?
- Next week.
- Ok, bye, honey!
- STOP DOING THAT!!
Then I turned my cell phone off. is pretty annoying sometimes!
She keeps calling me honey because Tom does it. Yes, she is making fun of me. Yes, she does it when Tom is around. Yes, he told her he is the only one who calls me that way. And of course, she bothers me even more because of that!
Before I go to bed I texted Tom saying “sleep tight”, like I do or he does every night. Sometimes when he is “busy” – yes, by “busy” I mean with a girl. – Bill answers me and we chat a little. This time it was Bill who texted me back.
- Good night, honey!
- Hey, . How are you? It’s Bill. Tom is , hummm, busy I guess.
- Hu-h, got it. Is the same girl he told me two nights ago?
- What do you think?
- Noope!
- Yeah, you’re right! Are you coming with us next week?
- Sure. I wouldn’t miss it! I’d lie to my mom again if I had to.
- Don’t you dare to do that! I asked Tom to ask your mom, he said he already asked, but wasn’t sure if you were going.
- Yeah, he asked my mom tonight… And I think he said that he wasn’t sure because of twinsis. If I wanna go she also has to come.
- Will you come to the party after the travel?
- Sure!! DRINKS!
- You’re spending too much time with my brother! By the way, why he is the only one who gets a “sleep tight”?
- Are you jealous, Bill? HAHAHAHA!! Honey, I don’t have your number!
- Honey? Yes, definitely too much time! Here is my number… I’ll pick you up someday instead of Tom, so you can spend some time with me too!
- Sure, whenever you want!
- What about tomorrow?
- Sure, ask Tom.
- Ok, see you tomorrow then. ?
- Yes?
- Are you sure there’s nothing between you and Tom?
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HILARIOUS!
- You two are too close!
- He and twinsis are my best’s friends. He is always with other girls, and tells me about them, I don’t think this is something you tell your girlfriend! And I hang out with lots of boys… specially Adam, I think he has a crush on me!
- Adam, huh? Does Tom know about that?
- No, I’m still trying to figure out if he really meant he would tell my mother!
- I’m sure he would! He cares about you, and he doesn’t care for many people… Hey, when I pick you up tomorrow, can I meet this Adam?
- I think so…
- And if he does anything to you, he’ll regret it! We are four and he is only one…
- And half school that would freak out if they see any of you four. Besides, everybody would be mad at me ‘cuz they don’t know that I know you. And believe me, there’s tons of girls – and boys – that would freak out!
- That’s true. Are you two dating?
- No! He is just my friend, you know, I have lots of “friends” at my school…
- Ok. Now no more Tom for you!
- Don’t do that!
- See you tomorrow?
- Yes, hon…oops! And, Bill?
- What?
- Sleep Tight.
- You too, .
Then I went to bed, I was pretty tired! I slept really fast…
I woke up in the next morning with the alarm clock playing “Automatic”.
What? It’s morning already? Unbelievable!
I got dressed for school, ate my breakfast and entered the Kaulitz’s car.
- Hi, B… Tom! Hey, Bill!
Bill looked at me like who says “I’m sorry”.
- Hey, …
??! Oh-oh!
- Adam, huh?
BILL!
- Tom, hon! He is a friend! Don’t worry about him.
- What about the other “friends” you have?
BILL!
- Tom! Calm down, right now! I have plenty of friends who are guys and yes, some of them are crushes! But, didn’t we meet because you had a “crush” on me? – No, we didn’t, he just wanted me in his bedroom.
- Ok, baby, I’ll believe you! Just be careful, ok? Don’t want jerks around you!
- I know, honey! This situation here never happened!
- So, are you going with us?
- Of course I am… You should’ve known about that since you read the texting messages!
Then we arrived at school and I gave Tom a kiss and a “see you later”. Bill looked at me again with his beautiful eyes and I couldn’t leave without giving him a kiss and a “see you later too”.
I was talking to when the school alarm rang announcing that it was lunch time. Adam was waiting for me outside the class.
- Hey, , … Let’s go?
- Sure
- Yeah. I’m hungry!
On the way to the lunch place we were talking.
- , are you busy this weekend?
- Sorry, honey. – GOSH! I am calling everybody honey!! – I already have plans for this weekend. also.
- Do I?
- !! YES, you have!! You know what it is…and you’ll go!
- Ok, ok… just messing around! Save my sit, Brad is calling me…
- Brad huh!
- Shut up!
- So, what are you doing this weekend?
- I’m going out with some friends… Sleepover birthday party.
- I wanted to talk to you about something…
- What is it?
- Would you like to be my girlfriend?
WHAT?!
- I don’t know...
- Think about it, give me an answer tomorrow, ok?
He left and when that happened he gave me a kiss…OMG!! What will I do?

Cap. 4
- What was that?
- Adam. He just asked me to be his girlfriend.
- WHAT? And what did you say?
- I said I don’t know. He told me to think about it and tell him tomorrow. Then he gave me a kiss.
- WHAT A FUCK! And?
- And I think I’ll say yes.
- Love it! Wait, Tom won’t like this… When will you tell him?
- Soon.
The rest of the day was long. Adam was waiting for us outside the classroom as always.
- See you tomorrow, then?
- Sure, hon… - GOSH!! I have to stop calling everybody honey!!
Tom was waiting for me in front of the school. Bill was also there – inside the car, of course. They weren’t crazy enough to get out of the car in front of thousands of people in Germany! I just told them, dropped the bomb.
- Hey, honey! What’s up?
- Hey, sweetie, how was your day?
- It was good. I have news!
- Hey, liebe!
- Hey, Bill!
- Is that boy Adam?
- Yes, liebe. It is. It’s about him I’d like to talk about.
- I don’t like this idea already.
- He just asked me to be his girlfriend…
Then Bill and Tom said exactly at the same time:
- WHAT???
- Yeah, he just asked.
- And what did you say?
- That I would think about it. Then he gave me a kiss.
- HE DID WHAT?
- Tom, turn around now!
- NO! You won’t do that! There’s lots of people still out there…
He was coming back to school so I just said the rest.
- I think I’ll say yes…
- YOU WILL WHAT?
- TOM! Calm down or I won’t ever tell you something again!
- Ok.
- Why will you say yes? Do you love him?
- WHAT?! LOVE?! NO! He is just cute…
- I think you’re learning too many things from me!
- Please, Tom! I just want to see if it will work out. I won’t be with him for the rest of my life… I still have too many things to enjoy.
- Bill? Could you, please, help your brother here?
I looked at Bill and I realized I have never seen that expression on his face before. He looked like he was worried and something else… I can’t describe.
- Liebe, you know how much we care about you, don’t you? Be careful, please! And if this guy hurts you in any kinds of way, remember, we are four and he is only one!
- I swear you two will know even before ! And Tom, you won’t tell my mother, right?
- Just, Oh… Ok! We are home. Let’s go inside.
Bill opened the door to me, he was hiding something… The G’s were there, Gustav was playing video game and Georg was talking to his girlfriend on the phone. By the way, I have never seen her. Tom told me she was getting jealous of Georg when he was around me. HILARIOUS! Georg turned his phone off and greeted me.
- Hey, Ge! How are you?
- Fine. Thanks? What about you?
Tom answered for me.
- She’s dating.
Then the G’s did just like Tom and Bill in the car:
- WHAT?!
- Who is he?
- It’s Adam. I already told Tom, and I’ll let you know if he…
Gustav interrupted me when I was telling them what I told Bill.
- Listen, if he pushes you to do something you don’t wanna do…
- Yeah! We’ll kill him!
- I know you will, I have your numbers on the speed dial, you see?
I show them that Tom was number 2, Bill number 3, Gustav number 4 and Georg number 5.
- Why Tom is the first one?
- Don’t start, Bill! I love it when you are jealous, you know that? Tom is the first number because I met him first, you’re the second ‘cuz you are the person I most talk to apart from Tom and . And do I have to mention why Ge is number 5?
- Yes!
- Your girlfriend.
- Oh, true!

- I can’t wait for your party, guys!
- Do you need help with your make up?
- I think so, I wanna try doing it on my own, but if I need some help I promise you it’s you who I’ll call to!
I sat next to Bill on the couch and gave him a kiss! Tom gave me a mad face so I kissed him too! These guys!
- Honey?
- Yes?
- It’s time to go home.
- Already?
- You can sleep here if you want to…
- I don’t think my mother will agree with that! I have no clothes here with me.
Tom gave me a very dirty look! I blushed!
- I love when you blush, you know? It’s so cute! I can get some clothes for you.
- No, if you’re going to my place I’ll go with you! Tom, honestly, sometimes you say things that don’t make sense, at all! Let’s go…
I was looking for my backpack, but Bill already had it.
- I’ll drive her. I’d like to talk to her on the way.
- Ok… See you tomorrow, sweetie!
- Bye, guys! Hey, G’s… don’t forget the bowling day! And, Georg?
- What?
- Grab your girlfriend!
- HAHAHA! OK, !
- Bye!
Gustav was eating so he couldn’t speak. I gave him a kiss and left with Bill by my side.
- Liebe, are you sure about Adam?
- No, I’m not. I will just give a shot and see what happens. He just broke up with his girlfriend. I want to see how far this goes.
- I’ll always be here for you, you know that, right?
- Yes, liebe. I know.
- See you tomorrow. It’s time for you to spend some time with ME!
- Ok, liebe! See you tomorrow.
- Bye.
- Bye, liebe.
I entered home, took something to eat and went to my bedroom. I was getting ready to sleep when my cell phone rang. It was Tom.
- Good night, sweetie! Think about that, ok?
Gosh! Bill just told me that! They are twins! There’s no denying!
- Ok, honey. Good night for you too… Wait! You aren’t with a girl?
- HAHAHA! No, I am not. Not today at least! HAHA…Hey, sweetie, I am still your best friend, right?
- Sure, honey! No guy will get between us! Or girls, remember that!
- HAHA. Ok, I will. Night.
- Night, Tom.
I dialed the other number and wrote.
- Sleep tight, liebe!
- “… When you can’t breathe, I’ll be there…”. Good night, liebe!
- “… Zoom Into Me!” Love you, you know?
- Love you too!
I turned my cellphone off and slept listening to my “bed time playlist”.

Bill picked me up the next day. He was still worried, but supportive.
- Hey, If you need, call me! I´ll show up here as fast as I can.
- I know you will, liebe.
He gave me a kiss on my cheeks. Gosh! He is so beautiful!
- Love you, Bill!
- Love you too, liebe!
When I got in the classroom, was waiting for me. And Adam was by her side. He has a beautiful smile…
- Excuse me… Brad is calling!
- BRAD! HAHAHA
- Shut up!
Then Adam said:
- Did you think about it?
- Yes, I did.
- And? Do you want to be my girlfriend?
- What do you think about friends with privileges? You know I don’t like dating. It’s awkward.
- Yeah, but I’d like to be your boyfriend. Officially.
- Then, yes. I’d like to be your date.
He smiled at me and gave me a kiss. Not only a kiss, it was THE kiss. saw it. OMG! She bothered me for the rest of the day. The day at school was long. It is always like that ‘cuz we’re talking about school, it was Tuesday, that means that the boy’s party is Friday. WOW! Drinks. Damn! Couldn’t Adam ask me to be his girlfriend AFTER the party?
Well, whatever. The classes were done and I was outside the school talking to twin and Adam when Bill came. Before I was gone, Adam kissed me, I lushed. Bill saw it, I didn’t want him to see it. I have to deal with it. Fortunately when I got into the car Bill haven’t said a single word about what happened.
- So, are you ready?
- What are we going to do today?
- Surprise.
I turned the radio on and put my (Tokio Hotel) CD that I always have with me.
- Why are you listening to the CD if I am here by your side?
- Hm…
- Which song do you like most?
- I have no idea.
- What?
- Yeah, every time I open my mouth to say “this is my favorite” I remember other song and I close my mouth again…
- HAHAHA!
- Choose one song.
- Ok…
And he started singing “Final Day”.
- “ And know we’re here again, upon on your roof so high. The whole world can just go to hell for what I care tonight! I can feel the end is near. And all that come it’s me I fear…”
- “…And if our final day has come, let’s pretend to carry on and if the end had just begun live on…LIVE ON…”
We sang all the song together…It was fun!! We sang lot’s of songs, after “Final Day” Bill sang “Reden”, “Ich LiebeDich” – I had to ask him to sing this song, is one of my favorites! - he also sang “Screamin’”… Really Bill, I love you!
- This is so fun! I loved it! Thanks, liebe.
- You’re welcome! Now we are here.
We went to this restaurant, very cool. Thanks God, my school allow us to wear casual clothes! We had dinner, and nobody bothered us. Really, the guys know the right places to visit. No one ever bother us in any places that they have taken me. Then we went shopping. Really, I love you, Bill!
- Let’s go, liebe. It’s time to go home.
- Home? Already?
- HAHAHA! Yeah, liebe. Let’s go or your mother – and Tom – will kill me!
- Look what I bought!

I showed him a necklace where was written “Tokio Hotel”.
- It’s lovely, liebe! Beautiful!
- Thanks! Could you help me…?
Bill helped me to put the necklace on my neck, it was silver – I love that color .
- It’s beautiful.
- Thanks, hon… Sorry about that, too much Tom! HAHAHA
- HAHAHAHA
- Let’s go…
- The car is right there.
We went to the car and Bill drove me home.
- Liebe?
- Yes?
- I loved this day. We should repeat it!
- Sure! I’d love to!
The week passed and I was getting anxious for the boys’ party! I was excited! I would sleep at their place for the first time since we met. We would get the plane on Saturday morning.
- Bye, !
- Bye, hon… GOSH! Adam!
I still kept calling everyone honey or sweetheart!
Tom was waiting outside (in the car) for me with . Adam gave me a goodbye kiss and I left. I don’t know if it’s just my imagination but I heard people started to “whisper” about who was going to pick me up every day at school. Tokio Hotel wasn’t Adam’s favorite band, but at least he liked rock and some Tokio Hotel’s songs. That’s already was something.
- I still don’t like that boy!
- Tom, sweetie! You don’t like any boy! – actually, I just think he doesn’t like competition.
- We are here.
- Come in guys… Bill…
- I’m here if you need me!
Then we went to my room – me and – to get ready for the party.
- C’mon! You’re taking longer than Bill!
- You can’t rush perfection, baby!
I could’ve seen Tom’s face in my mind! HAHAHAHA. Then we got ready. You had to see their faces. Their mouths were open. HILARIOUS.
- We are ready, guys!

Cap. 5

- OMG, sweetheart! You’re fucking pretty!! And look at you, ! You’re prettier than me if that’s possible!
- HAHAHA.
- Shut up and let’s go, Tom!
- Wait! is turning 18 soon, right? And will turn 17, am I right? HAHAHA! That means no alcohol for you, !
- Tom! C’mon, as soon as you meet a chick there you won’t see me drinking anyway! This is nothing I haven’t done before!! So, c’mon, Tom, please!
- Ok, but don’t abuse it! You too, honey! Who will go with whom?
- I’ll go with my girlfriend.
- NO! REALLY, GEORG? NO ONE EVER IMAGINED THAT!
Everybody laughed when Tom said that. See? Funny!
- I’ll go with my honey, here!
- Tom, baby. I don’t think this is a good idea.
- Why? Don’t you wanna come with me?
- It’s not that, honey! You know you won’t come back, at least with me! It’s yours and Bill’s birthday party, you two have to enjoy it! And when you find someone there you’ll want to “speak” privately with her…
- Yeah, true. What do we do?
- Nothing! We’ll all go together, you guys enjoy your party, I’ll have some fun and we meet at home.
- She’s right, Tom. And beautiful too!
- Thanks, Georg!
- By the way, don’t you think your shorts are too small?
- No, I don’t think so! – That’s why it’s called SHORTS! .
Why does everybody talk about my shorts? I like them!
- Where’s Gustav?
- I don’t know… Wait! Found him. He is in the…
- KITCHEN!
We all laughed.
- Again, Gustav?!
- Hey, guys, let him eat! We can wait a little longer.
- Thanks God someone understands me!! Thanks you, dear, but I’m done. Let’s go?
- Sure!
- FINALLY!!

OMG! The party was awesome!! We got there and everybody sang happy birthday for the twins. I danced a lot with the guys – I met Georg’s girlfriend, she’s awesome! – even with Ge… His girlfriend is not that jealous! And danced with other guys I met there… just danced, sometimes having a boyfriend sucks! Tom gave me a drink and we danced a little. As we all expected Tom found a girl and started flirting with her.
- Where is ?? Ok, found her. I think I’ll get a punch in the face if I go talk to her now.
I went to the bar and asked for a Martini, I sat with Bill and Gustav to talk and Bill said:
- Don’t you think you’re drinking too much?
- Am I? I have no idea!
- Yes, liebe. You are.
- Please, Bill… It’s not every day I’m able to drink!
- And it’s not because you’re here with us you’ll drink as much as you want!
- Awwn… just one more, ok?
Bill went to the bar and came back with energetic drinks and a bottle of “Heineken”. Really? Energetic drinks?!?
- There you go. Your last alcoholic drinks for the night.
- Thanks, liebe!
I don’t think Bill was enjoying his party as much as Tom was. It was 3 a.m. when I decided to go home.
- Hey, guys, I’m leaving now… I’m tired – and can’t make out with anyone else – and we have a travel to go by the morning, I need some sleep. Bye, guys. Enjoy the rest of the night!
- Are you leaving already?
- Yes, dear. I’ll take a shower and get some sleep. I’m tired and a little drunk too!
- Bye, .
- Bye, dear!
I went to Tom to say goodbye, he was busy, but I went to him anyway.
- Honey. I’m sorry to interrupt, but I’m leaving. Happy Birthday to you! Enjoy!
I gave him a kiss and said “see you at home”, and the girl looked at me like I was the bitch! I just ignored her and left. was still busy, so I texted her to tell that I was leaving. When I got outside the club I saw Bill next to me.
- Do you mind if I go with you?
- No, I don’t. But it’s early and you should be here at YOUR party.
- But you drank! And it wasn’t a little!
- Don’t worry, liebe! I’ll get a cab.
- No, you won’t. I’m going home with you too, like you said, we are taking a plane tomorrow. You know, Tom is right…
Again?!
- Sometimes you can be really annoying with this thing you have about not bothering us.
- But you are my friends and except , I don’t like abusing my friends!
- Let’s go, liebe, I’m going with you. My car is right there…
- Did you tell the guys you’re leaving?
- Yes, and I think they are drunk too.
- Why??
What? “Too”?? I am not drunk!!

*Bill’s flashback on*

- Hey, guys, I’m leaving too ok?
- What? Already? Why?
- is going and I don’t want to leave her alone in her first night in our house. And she is drunk, look at her!!
was dancing crazy with a drink in her hand and a guy she just met.. And she looks like she is liking!! What about her boyfriend?! Oh, the “boyfriend”.
- Uhum… yeah, you and ? Alone? In the house? With hers new surprise? What would Tom say about that, Bill?
- SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU PERV! I’m leaving, bye!
- USE PPROTECTION!
- SHUT UP!!

*Bill’s flashback off*

- You should stay. I’ll be fine…
- Do you at least know where are you going to sleep?
- Sure I know! On the couch!! I have the sheets in my backpack…
- WHAT?! Not at all!! Liebe, we have a guest’s room that we turned into a special room for you.
- YOU DID WHAT?! WHY?
- Like you’re always there, we thought it would be cool if you had your own space, so we wanted to make you a surprise. You’re one of us now, liebe!
When he said that I couldn’t take it! I gave him a kiss – on the cheek – and a hug. I had tears on my face when he hugged me back.
- Thank you, honey!
- You’re welcome, liebe. Now let’s go, I wanna show your new room to you!
We walked to his car. I almost fell, I was – a little – drunk and in high heels, fortunately, Bill got me before I got to the floor.
- Told you to stop drinking, didn’t I?
- Sorry, but this shoes are killing me! Don’t blame it on the alcohol!!
- Why haven’t you taken it off?
- Hey, a girl has to stand the pain if they want to look pretty!
- Liebe! You’re always pretty! You don’t need that! C’mon, let me help you.
We got in the car and Bill helped me to take my shoes off.
- Ohhh! Much better. Thanks, sweetie!
- You’re welcome! Who was that guy with you at the party?
- Someone I met, I can’t remember his name. He said he would ask my number if he hadn’t seen me coming in with Tom. Whatever, he wouldn’t get it anyway, but he got my e-mail address. - And you, honey? How was your night? Haven’t seen you with anyone. Georg was with his girlfriend, Gustav was talking to other people, but what were you doing this whole time?
- Keeping an eye on you, having a few drinks, chatting casually…
- …And?
- Well, there was this girl. Tom’s friend who came to talk to me…

*Bill’s flashback on*

- Hey, Bill. Happy Birthday!!
- Thanks…?
- I’m Nikki, Tom’s friend. Wonderful party. Where’s Tom by the way?
- “Chatting” with a girl, probably.
We talked about some random things we had in common. Then she started to talk about us, like we were a couple.
- What do you think about we going out tomorrow for lunch or dinner to talk a little more…
- Yeah, maybe…
- Maybe? What do you mean with MAYBE? Thought WE…
- HEY! Slow down!! There is no “WE”, I just met you!
- You know what you’re ja…Forget it! I won’t date another Kaulitz!!

*Bill’s flashback off*

- That girl was crazy! What’s her problem?!
- Oh, this reminds me of something. Where were you when I was talking to the crazy chick?
- Hmmm… I don’t know, I guess I went to the bathroom…

*’s flashback on*

- Sooo, what do you think about me kissing you right now?
- HAHAHAHAHA! You see Bill right there? And Gustav by his side? I don’t think this will happen here. Tom would tell my mother and I would go back on punishment!
- Come with me…
- Oh, I wish I could…
- Meet me there, ok?
- I can’t! I have a boyfriend!
- And where is he?
- I left him home!
- HAHAHA! I wouldn’t let my fucking pretty girlfriend go to a party with four VERY popular guys where she would meet more guys…
- He doesn’t know I hang out with the guys… and a boyfriend won’t EVER tell me what I can or cannot do!
- Ok, here’s my number. Call me when you’re single!
- Ok…
OMG! HE WAS HOT!! A 9.7 I GUESS!! HE IS SOOO HOT! OMG²! I’m not calling him, because I’m mean, but I’ll leave him waiting… hahahaha.

*’s flashback off*

On the way home I’ve put one of my headphones and turned my phone’s music player on.
- What are you listening to, liebe?
- Phantomrider.
- Why are you listening it on the phone if you can hear it at live?
- ‘Cuz it’s your birth…
Before I finish my sentence he started singing, after some minutes I said:
- Thank you, liebe. You have a great voice!
- “Now I’m here, no more fears. Angel don’t you cry I’ll meet you on the other side… GOODBYE! Into the light, like a phantomrider, I’m dying tonight! So dark and cold, I drive alone, like a phantomrider, can’t make it all on my own. HEEY! I’m here with you, I am…”
- “HERE, HERE! Leave me alone!...”
- “…A phantomrider, always die on their own”
My eyes always get wet with this song.
- Sorry, honey. I messed it up. I promise I’ll shush my mouth the next time.
- Are you crying, liebe?
- It’s nothing. It’s just that every time I listen to Tokio Hotel’s songs like Phantomrider or World Behind My Wall or Don’t Jump or others, my eyes get wet. I feel like you’re talking to me, I feel like you made these songs to me. And that means a lot!
- Oh!
His smile is so cute!
- GOSH! I’m tired!
- We are here.
I dried my eyes and entered home. Bill turned the lights on and I asked:
- I’m going to take a shower, liebe. Where do I shower?
- Come with me…This is your room, there’s a bathroom inside you can use, I also bought you some stuff to make this room more like you, hope you like it!
- YOU BOUGHT STUFF?! BILL!! It was OK for me to sleep on the couch! You shouldn’t have to do all this for just one night!
He tried to hold a laugh. I think he is hiding something more…
- I’m sorry! I can’t and WON’T return all this stuff so I hope you enjoy it!
- Of course I will! I would enjoy to sleep on the floor if I had to!
- Well, you don’t need to!
He opened the door and it was…it was… IT WAS BEAUTIFUL!! The walls, the paints, the desk and… OMG! A COUPLE’S BED??
- A couple’s bed, Bill?
- I wanted you to be as comfortable as possible!
- Thank you, honey, but it’s just for a night!
He hold a laugh again…Yeah, definitely, he was hiding something!
- So, enjoy your night!
- Thanks, liebe! I’ll get my backpack and take a bath… Come on in.
I picked my stuff and went to the bathroom, IT WAS GORGEOUS AS WELL! Light colors on the walls and beautifully decorated.
I took my bath and put my pajamas – and by pajamas I mean a SUPER BIG shirt, like the ones that Tom used to wear and a pair of shorts.
Bill was sat on the bed when I came out.
- See? Told you, you look pretty even with a shirt that Tom would use!
I gave him a smile.
- Thank you, honey!
- Do you want me to sing a song for you?
- Don’t you mind?
- No, liebe, I don’t.
I put my head on his lap and he started singing World Behind My Wall and playing with my hair.
- Bill, you rock, you know that?
He gets so cute when he smiles while he sings! He finished the song and said:
- Liebe, could you stop calling me Bill? It sounds weird, I call you liebe, and you call Tom sweetheart and Gustav dear…
- Hey! I call you honey all the time! Don’t be jealous, baby! Liebe is the same as Love in English, right? So I’ll call you love, from now on… And if you hear me calling you Bill again, it’s because you’re in trouble!
- HAHAHA! The same works for you.
- Love you…
- Love you too, honey! Oops… Love!
He smiled at me. We were too close. OMG, what was happening?
I lied down again and he started singing again. Before I realized it I slept on his lap.
I woke up the next day with Bill knocking on my door.
- Hey, liebe, let’s go. It’s time to get up! We have to go…
- Hum? What? Come in…
- Good morning…
- I wanna sleep!
He came to my bed and messed with my hair…
- Let’s go, liebe! We have a plane to catch. You can sleep on the plane. But now it’s time to dress up, unless you want to get on the plane like you are now…
Before he finished I got up and was heading straight to the bathroom!
- Did you sleep here? The last thing I remember was you singing to me…
- Yes, I fell asleep while I was singing. Georg saw the open door and woke me up…
- HAHA! I bet he thought tons of things!
- Yeah, and he isn’t done with the jokes…
I went to the bathroom to take a shower and Bill told me he would get something to eat. I thought about everything that happened to me lately. Meeting Tom Kaulitz on a concert, Tom saving me from my punishment, becoming friend of all the four guys, go to the Kaulitz’s birthday…WAIT! OMG! I haven’t given them their presents! When I came out Tom was waiting for me by my bed’s side.
- So, did you like your room?
- Yes, I did. And it’s your guest’s room, not mine!
- Yes, it is. We are already doing another guest’s room!
- YOU’RE WHAT?!
- Baby, you’re one of us now… You need your place in the house!
- Thanks, honey.
I gave him a kiss when I realized I was still wearing the towel that I used to cover me in the bathroom!
- How was your night?
- Delightful! I enjoyed veeery much!
- You did, huh? I can imagine your kind of fun…
- HAHAHA! And how was your night? I heard you got drunk…
He gave me a severe look like who says “You can’t drink ‘till you get drunk!”
- You heard…
- Told you, you couldn’t drink too much!
- Sorry, sweetie, but it was THE party! I had to enjoy, and it’s not a party if you don’t have some drinks! And Bill was watching me.
- Yeah, I also saw you and a guy “talking” next to the bathroom…
- He was HOT! He hasn’t taken my number. You told me to be careful and I was. He gave me his number, though!
Thought I heard Tom whispering something about “Told them not to mess up with her…”
I got in the bathroom again to dress up. I’ve put my best pair of jeans, my black boots and a shirt I bought recently when I was shopping with Bill.
- Tom, could you get Bill in here?
- Bill? Why not me?
- Unless you know how to teach me to do his makeup…
Before I knew Tom was screaming to Bill to come over.
- Hey, liebe. What do you need?
- I need you to teach me how to do your makeup. I can do a slight one, but I’d like to learn yours.
- Sure. What do you have here?
He looked down and saw the mess it was. I had all kinds of makeup things. At least, I thought I had… He left and came back with some things of his own and he started teaching me, when he finished it looked amazing! All I had to do was putting on my lip gloss and…
- IT’S AMAZING, LOVE! THANK YOU!
He gave me one of his biggest smiles that I love so much!
- Where is Tom? I wanna give him his birthday present. And for you…
- You bought me something? What is it?
- Open it and see by yourself.
- YOU BOUGHT ME A BRAND LEATHER JACKET?!
- Yeah. And the best part it’s that it is synthetic leather! Did you like it?
- I loved it, liebe! It must have been expensive…
- No problem! But now…TOOOOOOOOM! COME HERE!
- Hey, sweetie! What’s the problem? Bill, what you did to my girl?
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
- OH! Thank you, honey!
- Open it…
- Is this a guitar? A personalized guitar?
- Yep, it is!
- I loved it baby! Where did you get money to buy this? Stole a bank?
- Nope. You remember that part time job I took to save money and see you?
- Yes.
- Well, I was saving money. Now I need just a little more to buy the G’s present.
- Look at the leather jacket she gave me!
YAY! They liked their presents!
- I think I’ll use it on the next tour.
- The same for my new guitar.
- Thank you, liebe!
- Yeah, honey!
- You’re welcome, guys. Can we go now? I still have to sleep!
- Sure, honey. Let’s go!
- Wait, someone is missing…
- WHERE IS ??
I took my phone and dialed twin’s number.
- WHERE ARE YOU? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE ALREADY!
- Hmm? What? OMG! THE TRIP!!
- COME HERE, RIGHT NOW!
- HEY! DON’T SCREAM TO ME! OUCH! Fucking headache…
- If you don’t show up here in ten minutes, I’ll scream at you LOUDER!
- OK, OK, I’m coming! Bitch!
- I heard that!
- Whatever, wait for me…
- You have ten minutes! Bye.
I turned off my phone and Tom asked:
- Where is she?
- On her way. We’re leaving whether she’s here or not. Where are the G’s?
- Gustav is in the bathroom and Gustav is…
- In the kitchen!
- What? Plane’s food is awful!
- He is right, you know? I get sick every time I eat those kinds of food.
- Then I’ll do a snack for you too…
- Thank you, dear! Love you!
Someone rang the door’s bell.
- For her own sake it’s better be her…
- Hey, ! How are you? Hey guys!
- Where were you?! You know we’re late, don’t you?
- Sorry, sis, I was at this guy’s house and…
- OK! You tell me later! Let’s go, everybody!
All the four guys said at the same time:
- FINALLY!

Cap. 6

We had to go in separated cars, ‘cuz just one car couldn’t handle the seven of us – Tom, Bill, Gustav, Georg, Georg’s girlfriend, and me – I was in the car with the G’s and Sam (Georg’s girlfriend) and was in the car with the twins. I wanted to go with the G’s because I hardly ever talk to them!
- So, guys, what do you think about going bowling sometime or paintball?
- Sure! It’ll be fun! And… Do you think it’s a good idea leaving in a car with Tom? I mean, they have… hum, TOO different opinions about tons of things, including you…
- I don’t care! They are my best friends! They have to get along… But no, I don’t think it was a good idea…
likes him, I know that. Of course it’s just because he is hot, but still. Don’t get her wrong it’s just that sometimes Tom can be really overprotective – when he wants to be, ‘cuz between us, Tom is not the kind of guy who…well, he is a womanizer, he hooks up with E-V-E-R-Y GIRL and he doesn’t feel bad about it later, he is not the loving kind – and she doesn’t like that attitude!
doesn’t like Tokio Hotel as much as I do, but she tries, for me… - she loves me, I know that! - . She likes Gustav; they have a lot in common. The thing between Tom and is that they have almost the same personality, so they have to disagree with each other all the time…
- Tom was mad ‘cuz you wanted to come with us…
- Yeah I know, Bill just texted me saying that Tom is asking why I did that and he is blaming Adam…
What Adam did??
- Told him when we stop at the airport I’ll sit by his side!
- HAHAHAHA! Sometimes Tom acts like a baby when he doesn’t get what he wants.
- No, he doesn’t! He just gets mad…
- Ok ok… he already made your head…
- HEY!
Everybody laughed after that…
Sam was so nice…We had a lot in common, she told me so many things I didn’t know about the guys. Georg was blushing because the most of the stories were about him. She told me that one day she took him to meet her parents and he had a laugh attack and he went home still laughing because of a joke someone was telling…
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
- WHATTHEHELL?!
- HAHAHAH…It was funny!
- See?
- OMG! Georg stop it! You’re driving!
- HAHA…OK…HAHA, I’ll try.
5 seconds later…
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I CAN’T…HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
- What’s the joke about?
- HAHAHAHAHA…It’s…HAHAHA…like that…HAHAHA:
A: Doctor, will I be able to…HAHAHA…play the piano after the operation? HA… B: Yes, of course. A: Great! I never could before! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
- That’s it?
- HAHAHA, YEAH, HAHAHAHA!
- It isn’t funny!
- YEAH IT IS! HAHAHAHA
- Ok, HAHA – sarcastic “HAHA” – very funny…
- Told you?
- Gustav? Are you laughing?
- YE…HAHAHAHAHA!
- OMG! These boys…
We were running out of gas, so the G’s had to stop in a gas station. I called Bill to tell them to stop as well. Their house was far from the city, according to them, you can find REALLY crazy fans in the city…
- What’s wrong, guys?
- We’re out of gas.
- I’ll buy something to eat…
I went in the convenience store and bought snacks for everybody, of course I bought some more things to Gustav, he is always hungry. I came back and split what I bought. I bought for me a “Heineken” and I received a mad look from Tom and Bill, I know it’s early but I am thirsty!
- Hey, baby, don’t you wanna come with us now?
I looked to the G’s and they said it was ok…
- Sure, honey, let’s go… are you…?
- I’m going with the G’s..GOSH! Tom is annoying!
- HEY! You are...
Bill told me they were teasing with each other all the way…Yeah, maybe Tom and act like babies sometimes.

We got in the car and Tom said:
- The next time we need her to come with us, she’ll go with the G’s!
- Ok, baby… Whatever you want!
- So, how was your ride?
- It was great… Sam was telling me some stories about you guys. The G’s couldn’t stop laughing because of a stupid joke Georg heard the first time he met Sam’s parents.
- Oh, that joke… I thought we were the only ones who thought that joke stupid.
- We’ll go bowling when we come back…
- Can we go?
- NO!
Tom gave me a sad look…
- I’m kidding, honey… of course you can go!
I gave him a kiss and Bill asked me the same question I just looked at him rolling my eyes and gave him a kiss too. I love these boys!
- Could you turn on the radio?
Bill pressed the bottom and a CD of Britney Spears started playing. VEEERY old CD.
- HAHAHA! Really, Tom? Britney?
- Hey, I like to hear her songs sometimes…
Bill changed to the radio channels. It was playing “Fucking Perfect” by Pink.
- I love this song!
The guys started singing with me! It was great! Tom has a pretty good voice. I was the only one who sucked at singing… The radio played some pretty good songs and then someone called asking for “Übers Ende Der Welt”. I love Tokio Hotel’s songs in German, but it’s not something I can follow, so I rather the English ones. Bill started singing and Tom started hitting things in the car in the song’s rhythm. Bill gave me a smile, he knew about my German problem.
After some minutes we got in the airport. We had to stop for some minutes so the guys could give some fans an autograph. I went to the plane with Sam, there are no photos of her and Georg in the internet because it’s dangerous. There are really some crazy fans. I usually just curse when I see the guys with some girl, but it’s because I’m getting green of jealousy inside. Of course some of them are just whores, but they always get rid of that ones. We went to the plane and pretended we have never seen the guys in our lives.
About thirty minutes later the boys were in the plane. I was with my headphones on and sleeping. I just had three hours of sleep at home, I still needed some more!
I was between Bill and Tom. I can’t be in the first sit ‘cuz I get sick because of the plane’s food smell. I love sitting by the windows side, but for some reason I don’t know why, I sat in the second chair.
A couple of hours later I woke up. And I was hungry, I caught some food from my backpack and ate. It was delicious! Bill and Tom were sleeping, Georg was with his girlfriend and Gustav was sitting next to who was reading. I can bet Gustav was eating.
Gosh! Can you believe that? Me in a plane with the Tokio Hotel guys going to an island to celebrate the twin’s birthday? I was still smiling when Bill woke up.
- You know you get so beautiful when you smile?
I gave him a biggest smile and he winked at me.
- Are you hungry?
- Yes, starving actually.
- Here, take this.
- Chips! I love it!
- I know, I saw a box with Chip’s bags in your house.
- We are almost there.
- Good…
- Why were you smiling?
I blushed before I answered that. One thing is to think; another is telling one of the Tokio Hotel boys you were thinking about your life with them. I don’t know, I just think it would sound silly.
- I was thinking.
- About?
- About everything… I mean, I am on a plane with my favorite band, sitting between the Kaulitz twins heading to an island. I have a room at their house, and I am pretty close to them! Can you believe that all this happened in just seven months?
- Yeah, it was a surprise for each one of us. We thought it was just a phase and you would get mad at Tom and leave us. But look at us now! We have a new member!!
- HAHAHAHA! I can still get mad at Tom… but I’ll never leave you!
He grabbed my chin and he was getting closer and closer…And I gave him a kiss on his hand and put my head on his shoulders. He passed his arms around me and sang me a song.
God! What’s going on here? Are we close?

Cap. 7

I was still lying down on Bill’s shoulders when we arrived. Now we need to pass through the next step. Waking up Tom.
Gosh, if we lost the plane’s control he’d still be sleeping. Waking up Tom is one of the hardest things I’ve done in my entire life…Top 10! was getting tired of waiting Tom wake up so she went to him herself to try a shot. And she said really smoothly, like someone who is trying to wake up a new born baby.
- Tooom? Tom, could you get up, please? Huh? Come on…
- Hmmm…
He turned to the other side and she tried again.
- Hey, “honey”… . Wake up…
Tom said something like “Come…here…closer…”. lost her mind this time.
- G-E-T T-H-E H-E-L-L U-P!!!
- AAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT THE FUCK? GET LOST!
- Come on! You’re the only one left!
Everybody was laughing. We got in the car again and went to the island…
- Honey, there’s one thing. We only have two rooms. The G’s room and ours.
- You lied to my mother?
- Yes, I did. We can divide into two, The G’s come to our room and you girls get the other way.
- Oh please! I brought my girlfriend to spend some time with her! I was hoping to get Gustav into your room!
- Hey, Ge… I don’t know if it’s a good idea, I mean, I’d love to be in the same room with you, but there are the girls now.
- Sam…we can fix it…
- Honey?
- Yes, Tom?
- What do you think about the five of us sleeping in the same room? Your mom doesn’t need to know. I mean, you’ve done worse before.
- That’s true, you know… Sis?
- How many beds are in your room guys?
- Two. Three if you count Gustav’s, we are getting it into our room.
- How do we do that?
- We can sleep together…and one of us would sleep alone…
- Ok…but you two behave yourselves! I don’t want to go to the living room in the middle of the night…
- SIS!
Tom bites his lips and everybody rolls eyes to him!
- Or we can improvise a “bed” on the floor, like the ones you use when you go camping.
- Deal! That’s it…
We got in the island after a few minutes, it wasn’t so far, and it was about 10 a.m. We still could enjoy the rest of the day, it’d be fun!
- I’m hungry!
- Really, Gustav?
- You know what? I’m hungry too… starving actually.
- Let’s go inside… I think there’s something in the kitchen. We bought food for the weekend.
Gustav gave me a “Thank you” look. I don’t know why the guys mess with him all the time about the food. He likes eating! I do too! HAHA…I’m the only one who stands up for him…
We got into the house, it was so beautiful. Simple, but beautiful, just like their house. Then I said:
- Go get changed for lunch… I’ll do something here.
Everybody went to the second floor. I hope they like omelet with rice…I started cutting all the vegetables and mixing the eggs together, then I opened a can of sardine to fry all together. I also made rice and some salad, just in case Bill doesn’t eat fish. I put in plates and called the guys to have lunch.
- Hey, guys?!! It’s ready… I hope you like it! My mom taught me to do it.
All of them came one behind the other…GOSH! We were a large group! Tom and were teasing with each other as always. Ge was talking to Samantha, Bill was smiling and Gustav told me that whatever I have done, it smelled good.
- Sit, grab a plate. I’ll take the soda and the cups. Tell me what you think. Oh, and Bill?
- Yes.
- I’ve put fish in it so in case you don’t eat, I made you some salad and I can do another thing if you want. The same for Tom.
- You don’t need to, I’ll eat it… thanks, liebe.
- Me too, baby…it smells good!
- Thank you.
I took the cups and put soda in all. Gustav loved it…Bill and Tom also said it was delicious, Sam asked me the recipe and said nothing but “it’s good”.
- Would you like chocolate?
- What, you made chocolate?
- Kind of. It’s a Brazilian food, and it’s made with chocolate. One of my favorites desserts definitely!
- Sure, honey!
I went to the kitchen and came back with a plate full of chocolate. You just have to mix powder chocolate and condensed milk in a pan and wait until it starts boiling on the oven. It’s delicious…
- Here it is…Be careful, it’s hot.
I gave each of them a spoon filled with this dessert. Gustav was the first one to speak.
- ! ITS D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S! How do you do that??? You’re a great cook!
- Thanks, dear!
- He is right, honey…Why haven’t you told me you know how to cook?
- I don’t know…I never thought about it.

Everybody finished and then they helped me with the dishes. Then we all went outside. OMG! It was beautiful…We put our bath suits and we went swimming in the ocean. We had so much fun! All of us…it was great! Then I got out of the water and sat on the sand to watch the sunset. Bill and Tom made a small fire place for us to get around it…Gustav got some marshmallows and cookies and Georg took his guitar and handed to Tom. I took a marshmallow and put between two cookies…it’s delicious! We all were having fun talking and laughing all together. I couldn’t believe in what was happening. Even stopped teasing Tom! We were having a great time…it was getting dark outside and everybody had a towel covering our backs because of the wind. Tom, Georg, Gustav and Bill started singing songs, some random songs and some of their own. They started singing “By Your Side”, this is one of my favorites songs.
- …”I don’t want to cause you trouble, don’t wanna stay too long. I just came here to say to you…TURN AROUND! I AM HERE! If you want it’s me you see, doesn’t count, far or near, I can hold you when you reach for me...
*Mouth Shadowing:*
- Your life is meaningless, your diary full of trash. It’s so hard to get along with empty hands. You’re looking for the rainbow but it died not long ago. They tried to shine just for you until the end…
- I don’t want to cause you trouble, don’t wanna stay too long. I just came here to say to you…
- I am by your side! Just for a little while…
All of us:
- TURN AROUND! I AM HERE!! If you want it’s me you see. Doesn’t count far or near, I can hold you when you reach for me…If the world makes you confused, and your senses you seem to lose. If the storm doesn’t wanna diffuse and you just don’t know what to do…look around I am here. Doesn’t count far or near!
- I am by your side, just for a little while…
- TURN AROUND. TURN AROUND I AM HERE. TURN AROUND. DOESN’T COUNT FAR OR NEAR. TURN AROUND. IF YOU WANT ITS ME YOU SEE. TURN AROUND. I CAN HOLD YOU WHEN REACH FOR ME. TURN AROUND I AM HERE. DOESN’T COUNT FAR OR NEAR! I AM BY YOUR SIDE…JUST FOR A LITTLE WHILE…WE’LL MAKE IF WE TRY.”
The song ended and I said:
- It was beautiful guys! Loved it…it’s one of my favorite songs…
- Every Tokio Hotel song is one of your favorites, sis…
- Can’t deny it!
- What?! You like all our songs?
- Of course I do!
- C’mon! Name one Tokio Hotel song you don’t like…there’s gotta be one…
- Gustav, when you do a song that sucks, let me know. So far, so good!
- Unbelievable…!
- What’s the next song?
- Could you sing “Engel”?
- Gosh ! This is old!
- I know that!...You were little when you did that song! About 13 years old…
- Yeah, I remember that…My voice was different.
- SOOO CUTE!!
-
- Thought you didn’t like German songs.
- No, it’s not that. I love your songs, even in German. It’s just because I can’t follow…And in English I can sing all the songs…I love both languages though. I’m still trying to improve my German.
- Ok, then. Engel it is…
He sang “Engel”, “Hallo” and “Ich Liebe Dich”. It was great, I tried to follow but I couldn’t, so I just watched. It was getting late and everybody was tired but me.
- Let’s go in…It’s getting late…I’m tired!!
- Yeah, me too bro!
- I’m taking something to eat before I go to bed…
- Ge? Let’s go? I still want to shower…
- Sure!
- I need some sleep! Are you coming sis?
- No..I’ll be here a little longer. I love watching the waves…I’ll go in a minute.
- Don’t take too long honey!
- Yeah, don’t want you to get the flu, Liebe…
- Sure, sweetheart…I’ll be there soon.
Everybody went home and I got closer to the fire place, it was cold. I love to be somewhere I can think about my life, and this is definitely the place. I got some drinks from the ice cooler and drank. You know, some fans would die to be here where I am right now. I know that, cause I would! I looked to the can I was holding. I was drinking energetic drinks. Huh, that explains why I couldn’t sleep. I know I told everyone I’d be home soon, but I got lost in my mind. Boy, I need to talk to . It was very late when I started to get all sleepy. I was looking to the sky, I think the sun will rise within’ few hours. Tom came and told me the very same thing he said when we first met.

Cap. 8

- Hey, may I sit here?
I smiled and rolled my eyes to him.
- Sure you can!
- So, why aren’t you in bed? You said you’d be coming soon.
- Sorry, I know that, but I got lost thinking. Did you get some sleep?
- Yes, I tried to wait for you but I think I slept. I just woke up.
- Hum, I didn’t want to sleep.
- It’s almost morning…
- Yeah…I think I’ll watch the sunrise and then I’ll get some sleep.
- Good. I’ll watch it with you, so. I wanted to ask you if you wanted to see it with me, but you know…it might sound….
- Yeah, sweetheart. I know.
We sat on the sand and talked a little. Tom was telling me some funny things that happened to them before me. It was fun! They’ve been through a lot. Specially Tom and his “dates”.
I was almost sleeping on his shoulders so I got up to take a walk and he came with me. I was still with my bath suit and Tom just took off his shirt.
He kept telling me stories and we were walking by the water. It was still very dark, but we knew the sun would come soon. Suddenly he split some water on me and we started a “water war”. We were laughing a lot when we came out of the water; I was all wet and also did him. I started running ‘cuz he was still trying to hit me with water but then I fell. This is so me! He was very close so he fell on me. We were still laughing about everything when the sun raised – He was still on me – I think the sun came exactly the same time I fell. We looked at the sun and then he looked at me again and we kissed. Oh My Goodness!! It was great! He knows what to do with his lips. And I liked it! OMG!! I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND I’M KISSING ANOTHER GUY!! I WAS KISSING HIM BACK!! OMG! OMG! OMG!
We were kissing for a long time, now. He knows how to catch a girl. He knows what to do. I felt something getting hard down there! OMG! No! This can’t happen!! But he was already trying to take off his shorts and my bath suit. It felt good, I have to admit! He kissed me everywhere I let him, mouth, neck, shoulders and lower. I had his hands all over my body. I was kissing him back every time I could, but then when I felt something I realized we shouldn’t do that. He wanted – I can’t deny I wanted it too – but I couldn’t do it. I HAVE A BOYFRIEND FOR GOD’S SAKE! I CAN’T DO THAT. I won’t do that. Not today.
- Tom…
- Yeah…?
- We…hmmm…we can’t…mm…
- Sure we can…let me just…
He kissed me again...OMG! I was liking the whole situation! I kissed him back. AGAIN!
- Tom! Seriously. I can’t!...
I was almost crying when I said that. He kissed me one more time, sat by my side and helped me to get up.
- Hey, honey! Don’t cry please!! If you don’t want to do it. We won’t do it.
He bites his lips like he always does and dries a single tear coming down on my face.
- Tom, please… I have a boyfriend. I can’t do this to him. I wouldn’t like him to do that to me.
- Are you sure about that? I mean…I can do it all over again…
I gave him a smile and dried the following tears. He put his arms around me and gave me the towel I had with me when I was sat with them the night before. Then I whispered:
- Thank you, honey! Thank you very much.
- You’re welcome, sweetie. And remember, I’ll always be here for you.
He gave me another kiss. A hot kiss. Like one that just your boyfriend would give you. It didn’t matter. He was my best friend. And I liked it. Am I a whore because of that? Hope not. We walked to the house together. I needed a bed!! But before, I had to do their breakfast.
- Are you hungry?
Tom gave me a dirty look. OMG!
- I mean, food hungry?
- Sure, honey! What were you thinking?
He gave me a smile and I started doing some pancakes, juice and scrambled eggs. Guess who was the first one to show up? If you said GUSTAV you’re right!
- This smells good!
- Here is your plate dear.
I gave him a smile and a kiss on the head like you do with babies.
- Here, honey. Have yours.
- Thanks, baby. It’s delicious!
- U-HUH!!
That’s all Gust could said because he had his mouth full of food. I took something to eat before go to bed and sleep. I wasn’t hungry. I spent all night drinking. I went to the bathroom to take a shower and change clothes. I got ready and went downstairs to wash the dishes. But the guys were already doing it.
- Thank you guys!
- You’re welcome!
- Hey, if you don’t mind I’ll rest a little bit.
- Sure honey. Go there.
- Wait…haven’t you slept all night?
- Nope…I was drinking outside…
Gustav gave me a bad look like Bill does when I’m drinking too much.
- Could you wake me up by the lunch time?
- Sure sweetie. You can take my bed if you want.
- Thank you again Tom.
I went upstairs and Bill was already coming to eat.
- Hey liebe! Good morning!!
- Hey love…good night!
- What?
- Yeah…I’m going to take a nap…
- What?! You haven’t come to bed last night, have you?
I gave him a sorry look and said:
- No, I haven’t.
- Drinking again?
- Energetic.
- Yeah…I know.
He gave me a kiss – on the head – and told me good night, I told him to take something to eat and wake me up by the lunch time, just in case Tom forgets.
I can’t believe I am finally going to bed! I can’t forget to talk to …I slept so deep, that I had no dreams. I think woke up before me, because when I woke up – several hours later – she wasn’t there anymore. I took a shower and changed my clothes. I looked to the watch on the wall and it was 4 p.m. I told them to wake me up at lunch time!!
- Why haven’t you woken me up?
- Sorry honey, but you got through the night. And you look like an angel when you’re sleeping.
- Just asleep right?
- HAHAHA…not funny, !
- Who’s hungry? I am!!
- Me too, dear!
- I know that, Gust! Anybody else?
Everybody raised their hands. Tom told me he tried to do something but it didn’t go so well. I gave him my best smile and tried to teach him something. I made a snack and everybody ate, we rented some movies to watch together and later on we would do a private party. Georg told us we could take our bedroom back but nobody wanted. Why that so? Georg and Sam. Alone. In the same room. Thanks! You can keep the room. It was dark outside when we watched all the movies we rented. Tom got the speakers boxes to play the music. Bill helped me with the food. decorated what she could with Sam, Georg got the instruments and Gustav the ice cooler.
- , need to talk to you.
You know, besides Tom. is like my personal diary. Some people write about what happen to them. I tell my best friend.
There’s been a long time I don’t talk to . I mean, just the two of us.
- I need to talk to you too. It’s EXTRA important!!
- Let’s go then! I’ll be right back, guys…
We went away from the party to talk privately. We started talking about random things – boys – like we always do. The she said:
- , remember Brad, right?
- HUMMMMMM…SURE I DO!!
- Well…we were making out aannd…we did IT!
- OMG! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!
- YEAH!!!
- ANNND????????
- TWIN! IT WAS GOOD!! Sis!! Those arms!!
Here is the thing, Brad is hot. I mean, very hot. He is ALMOST a 10! And when I say almost it’s because it is pretty close. Brad is athletic, tended, his eyes are dark brown but the shape of it it’s like an Asian’s eyes, he has a beautiful smile, his hair is all messed up and it gives him some charm, its light brown and it fits him. He is not a jerk like the most of the guys. Yeah, he works out and he is H-O-T!
- OMG! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Are you two together?
- I don’t know…
- Wait! When did this happen?
- Do you remember the guys’ party, and you calling me because I wasn’t in the house yet?
- Yeah, I do. But you said you couldn’t remember the guy’s name…
- I didn’t want to say in front of the guys…
- How did you and Brad meet at the party?
- He called me. I texted you, haven’t you got the message?
- Wait…
I checked my phone but I had no messages.
- I think it wasn’t able to send. But whatever. IT HAPPENED!!!
- And it was good for you??
- ABSOLUTELY!!
- AHAHAHAHAHA!! TWIN!! YAY! Now you can check one less thing to do from “THE LIST”.
“The List” is a list of things we have that you must do in your life, losing the “Great V” (V=virginity) before you get married is one of them.
- Yeah…I know that. And you??
- Where do I begin?
- From the beginning…
- Alright…let me see…I’m still a virgin.
- AWWNN…
- But…
- WHAT? THERE’S A BUT????
- But yesterday…it almost happened…
- WHAT!!!!!?!!!!!Tom?
- Yeah…
- OMG!! WHY ALMOST? WHAT HAPPENED, TWIN?
- Well, I haven’t gone to bed and I spent all the night here, outside. Tom came when the sun was about to rise we talked a little, walked around the beach but then we started a sort of a “water war” I fell, he was too close and he fell on me. We kissed…
- OHMYGOODNESS!! DID YOU LIKE IT?
- Let me finish! We kissed…he knows what to do with his lips…yeah, I liked it very much! And then he was kissing me lower and lower and when I realized he was trying to take his shorts off and I felt something in the “low area”, but I said no…
- YOU WHAT?
- I said no!! I have a boyfriend, , you know that!!
- Yeah I do…but…didn’t you want it?
- Yes, I did. A lot. OMG! I feel so guilty…but not guilty at the same time!
- You what?
- I feel guilty for Adam but I don’t regret it you know?
- , do you like Tom?
- Of course I do!!
- No, I mean, you love him??
I shushed my mouth. I didn’t know the answer, I wanted to say no but something didn’t allow me to say that. I said nothing.
- OH MY GOD!!!
- HEY! I NEVER SAID YES!
- AND NEVER SAID NO!!
- TWIN!! WHAT DO I DO??
- Have no idea!! How did it feel like?
- Good, . Good. OMG WHAT AM I SAYING?
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
- STOP LAUGHING! THIS IS SERIOUS…AND THERE’S BILL…
- BILL? WHAT? WHAT ABOUT BILL?
- Oh YEAH…Haven’t told you that…it happened before Tom’s thing…
- What?
- He tried to kiss me. More than once.
- OMG! The two Kaulitz are in love with you. And you have a boyfriend. And you love Bill. And you don’t know about Tom. And there’s Adam. HAHA!! You know , you could write a book. It’d a best seller!!
- Yeah, that’s pretty much it...
- What will you do about Adam?
- I don’t think I’ll tell him. I know it’s wrong, but…I don’t know…
- Tom?
- Already talked to him…
- Bill?
- I DON’T KNOW!!
- Ok, calm down… We’ll figure something out.

Cap. 9

We went back to the party and everyone was having fun, dancing, eating or singing. The first party I don’t see Tom flirting! HAHAHAHA! There are just three girls here, and the three of us have boyfriends. Poor Tom. He took me for a dance and we danced for a long time before they started some sort of a small show. Then Tom asked me something:
- Are you sure about that?
I knew when he said “that” he was talking about what happened to us earlier.
- Honey…I-I-I-I…
- You what, baby?
I slowly let out a heavy sigh and said.
- Honey…about earlier…No, I’m not sure. But I can’t do this to Adam.
- Ok, sweetie. I get it, but if you change your mind…
- HAHA! Thanks, Tom. I’ll let you know! You’re still my best friend, baby.
- Yes, honey, I am.
Most people who dates and used to be friends stop talking to each other after a break up, this wouldn’t happen to me and Tom. We are still best friends. That’s just one of the things I like about Tom.
They sang some Paramore’s songs for , – ’ favorite band is Paramore – some from Britney Spears, – this one was VERY funny! Can you picture Tokio Hotel singing Britney Spears?? I couldn’t! – some Aerosmith and German rock songs. It was great. We sang together most of the songs. It was getting late and we started to clean up the mess. We entered the house, played “Clue” and “Monopoly”. Then we watched some movies and I made popcorn, later on we all went to the same bedroom. The Kaulitz’s bedroom was pretty big so we had no problems with space. Georg and Samantha would sleep there, so they just improvised a bed on the floor with their mattress. and I did the same thing. We had such a cool time! If you’re wondering if we slept any time the answer is: No! We haven’t slept the whole night; we ate some junk food, watched cartoons and told each other stories. I was telling them about the stupid things we did at school when Tom asked:
- What’s “THE LIST”??
- THE LIST is a list of things we’ll do someday. We started it when we were at 9th grade or 10th … I can’t really remember… Sis?
- It was 10th grade, sis, remember? Physics class?
- Oh! Right!! 10th grade… we were supposed to be studying the review for a test, right?
- Yep!
- Well, we started to list things we should do. There are over seventy things on that list.
- What kind of things do you list?
- You know, rob a bank, be searched by a HOT cop, meet Daniel Radcliffe/ Rupert Grint/ Emma Watson, check out a “ninja’s sward”…HAHAHAHAHA!!
- HAHAHAHAHAHA! , you’re forgetting what already happened to both of us…
- OH YEAH…
Then we both said together:
- Philip!
- HAHAHAHAHA!!!
The guys were like: “WTF?”
- Sorry, guys, it’s kind of a private joke... you had to hear the entire story to understand it, and it’s loooooooooooooong!
- What else do we have on the list?
- I can’t even remember!! There are so many things!! Oh! There’s the phrases list too!
- GOSH! You two make lots of lists! What’s on that list?
- Phrases we end up saying in awkward moments most of the time…
- Like?
- Like…”IT’S PINK AND IT HAS GLITTER!” or “The first amnesia we never forget” or “Ummm… but it’s soo big!” or “I am 16 and I’m still a stupid teen” or “I could eat the white, but…”
- OK OK! I got it!
- HAHAHA! Are you embarrassed, Tom?
He blushed!
- HAHA! It’s the first time I see Tom blushing!
- Me too, sis! We have to show him the rest of the list!
- NO THANKS!
We laughed. - , liebe. Have you been to our gig in Brazil?
- No I haven’t…
- You guys can’t believe how she went to school that day. She couldn’t stop crying!
- My mom didn’t allow me to go to your concert, because I didn’t know anyone in the city who’d go.
- Why?
- Well, besides the concert ticket, she would have to pay for airplane tickets…
- Oh…you lived in another city.
- Yes, I did. I was sort of counting on my father to give me the money.
- What did you do?
I just smiled back and then explained to the guys what I did.
- You all know she ranaway to see you guys here, right? Well, she would do the same thing in Brazil, but it didn’t work out very well.
- ! AGAIN!
- Hey! I do crazy things for people I love!
- But you haven’t met us yet.
- I know that, liebe. But it doesn’t mean I didn’t love you already. You really don’t get your fans, do you?
- Anyways, she called her father and told him she needed a new cell phone because hers was broken. She had already done the math and she would need about 300 dollars.
- Wait, would you stay in a hotel, right?
- Of course I would NOT! You know, real fans sleep in the line to watch their favorite band!
- Are you out of your mind? In the line with people you don’t know! And how would you get there?
- I didn’t have the money to pay for a hotel, and I would catch a cab and tell him to go where the show would be…
- You know what honey? You’re freaking unbelievable!
- Ohh…and she would go some days earlier, because she wanted to see Mathew Lewis. He was there the same week you guys did the show.
- That’s why I got even devastated. Mathew Lewis is the guy who played Neville Longbotom in Harry Potter’s movies.
- Well, her father couldn’t give her the money before November 20th so she couldn’t make it.
- Yeah…he just would have the money to the next month. I let it go. But, men, I got sad that day!
- I know. Hey, sis, calm down…it turned out to be good. You’re here with them today.
She said that ‘cause I was holding a tear. Every time I talk about this it makes me wanna cry.
- Yeah, honey. You’re with us now, literally. Don’t you ever do that to me, or us, or your mother again!
- Yeah, if there’s a place you’d like to go, tell us and we’ll go with you!
- Ok, guys. I’ll let you know.
- Hey, wait. … are you from Brazil too?
- Yeah, actually. I was the only one who was moving out, but I didn’t want to go without my sis. We would be a year apart until she turned eighteen so she could come here and stay with me.
- But isn’t older than you?
- Yes honey, I am. But ’s parents were cool with her moving to another country. She has family here. Next year when she turns eighteen, we’ll move in together.
- How did you ended up here?
- How? I was talking about that to my mother, coming with , alone. She freaked out, like I was crazy for asking her that. But it turns out she already knew the first opportunity to get out of Brazil I’d hold it and I’d be eighteen, so she wouldn’t be able to stop me. She just said: “If you’re going, I am going, too”. Then, we are here.
- You wanted to come here just because of ?
gave him a big smile like who says: “Of course she came, I’m perfect, and I’m a Diva!”
- No, honey. We made a pact. The first one to leave the country would take the other one. And I’m a Diva, too!
- Sure, sis… We are perfect!
- Hey, nobody is perfect!!
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
- What have I said?
- It’s because back then, when we were with our friends in Brazil we used to say that we were nobody.
- WHAT?
- If you read Percy Jackson’s books, you’ll understand!
- And like we ARE nobody, and nobody is perfect we are perfect!
- Still don’t get it…
- Sure you don’t!
- ! Don’t say that…I know deep down you like him too!
- Yeah, veeery deep inside!
I rolled my eyes to her and said:
- I love you, baby.
- Me too, hon.
Bill gave me a sad look and then I said:
- Love you too, liebe! Love you all…After all my Goddess is the Goddess of Love. Aphrodite.
- WTF?
- Honey, I love you. You know that. But mythology isn’t your strongest point.
- Tom, Aphrodite is one of the 12th most powerful Gods of mythology. Am I right?
- Yes, liebe. You are! Like my english teacher would say “One point for you!”.
Then I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and draw a point for Bill. Everybody laughed after that.
- Oh, once I showed a Bill’s photo to Laura that said “Nobody wants me” in the subtitles. I said “I want you” – Bill gave a big smile to me when I said that – then Laura said “Of course you want him. You are nobody!”.
- It makes sense, .
- I know that!
- Witch photo is that?
- Do you remember when you had those lamps in your hair? Well, in the middle of an interview you did a kind of a sad face and someone wrote “Nobody Wants Me”…I think I still have in my computer, let me see…
I took my computer turned it on and searched in my Tokio Hotel file.
- I found it! Look! It’s so cute!
Then we all started laughing again.
- What else you got here? Gosh! There are many photos of Bill!
- There are plenty of you too, Tom! Would you like to see my favorite photo of you, Tom?
- Yes… I want!
I showed him a photo he was shirtless and H-O-T! And another one you could see his arms!
- This is my favorite one!
- Yeah, I am hot!
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! True, honey, true.
- What’s your favorite photo of me?
- One of my favorites of you, Bill, is one of my newest ones. You were in Russia and the camera is very close to your arm! I love that one. You were working out, weren’t you?
- Yes!
- But I also have the one I like less!
- Oh! You do liebe?
- Yes, I do!
- What’s that?
- The one you’re hugging a girl. Your ex-girlfriend!
- Oh! Don’t be like that! I can hug you too!
He gave a strong hug. OMG! His arms…!!
- My Gustav’s favorite photo is the one he is playing with a ball. So cute!
- I know I’m lovely!
- You’re hanging out too much with, Tom!
- No, I’m not. He’s with you A-L-L T-H-E T-I-M-E now!
- And what about your favorite photo of me?
- Georg, I don’t think this is a good idea…
I looked to Sam, but she was messing around with us.
- Go ahead, …It’s fine, really!
- Ok… here it is.
I showed them my favorite Georg’s picture. He was hot in that one!
- Can I be honest with you?
- Sure!
- Ge, you are HOT here…Sorry, Sam…
She gave me a look, like any girl would do if you said her boyfriend is hot.
- No problem, . It’s true!
She gave him THE kiss! And he kissed her back. They started to kiss each other even more. OMG! I was blushing hard. I was like a tomato! Tom hugged me and told me to close my eyes. HAHAHAHA…All I heard was Gustav saying:
- Hey! If you two want to go into second base or farther go to the next room!!
They stopped kissing and whispered a “Sorry” and everybody started laughing at me!
- Hey, …It looks like you have never done this before!
- The kissing part, yes…It happens a lot…
Ooops!
Tom gave me a “talk to you later” kind of look. But then Sam asked:
- Wait! You had never…??
I blushed more, if that’s even possible.
- No, I’ve never done it before. It’s not that thing about “I have to find the right guy”, I just don’t feel ready... – However it felt like I was ready when I was with Tom.
- That’s ok, honey. Just be careful when you feel ready, ok?
He looked at me like, now he understood why I said no to him.
- But what about the other ? Are you two virgin?
I blushed again! I was in Tom’s lap, lying down. looked at me, and I said a “You can trust them” silently. We were pretty close to say things just with a look. We knew the other would understand.
- Well, here’s what happened.
When she said that, I fell asleep.

Cap. 10

I had the most amazing dream ever:
I was with my friends at a party, dancing and drinking and doing party stuff when I saw Daniel Radcliffe there, I was like “Ok, don’t let me go there or I’ll start screaming!”. looked at me and said “Are you sure?” before I left to buy more drinks and I whispered “yeah”… Well, I got the drinks and headed to our table, when I was going to sit on my chair Daniel sat …You had to be there to see what happened…it was kind of Matrix! I turned as fast as I could so I wouldn’t sit on his lap – yeah, I’m stupid – he winked at me and gave me a smile. OMG! I was crazy – or drunk, your choice – I left the drinks on the table and he stood up, took me by the hand and we went to the dance floor, it was playing Tokio Hotel – of course it was playing Tokio Hotel, it’s my dream – and we were dancing, he was trying to get closer to me when everything changed… I was in the island’s beach lied down on the sand with…with…OMG!OMG!OMG! IT’S BILL!! He was shirtless and I was on my underwear, don’t ask me how, but I knew it was just the two of us in that island and I also knew I wasn’t a virgin anymore… I was happy, smiling for no reason, and also did he. Then we got up because we heard Tom calling us... I thought we were alone…
- ……Honey... wake up... Honey?
- Ok, Tom…Let me try…?
- Hmmm…Hey!
- Hey, liebe! It’s time to go.
- Awwwn!! I don’t want to go!! What time is it?
- It’s 3:30 a.m. We’re leaving at 04:00 and you need to get ready.
- Hmmmmmmmmmmmm!!
- Need help to shower?
- NO! I’m already up…thank you, Tom!
- So, hurry...
- Have any of you eaten something?
- Yes, we have. Don’t worry about that. Just get ready; I put your stuff in your bag already.
- Thanks, sweetie! Love you…
- We’ll wait for you downstairs, ok?
- Ok, honey. Thanks again.
I went to the bathroom took a quick shower and got dressed as fast as I could. Gosh!! I was so tired!! I need to go to bed… It’s Monday already…this weekend was so…so…PERFECT! That’s the word I was looking for.
- Hey, guys! I’m ready. Let’s go…
- I can’t believe you got dressed in…
Tom checked his clock and said:
- 15 minutes!! It’s a record!!
I gave him a smile and said:
- Sure, Tom…This is going to the Guinness Book!
- Let’s go, people…We have 10 minutes to get to the airport…
- GUUUSTAAAV!!
- What?! I’m here…
- Sorry, we thought you were…
- …in the kitchen. Not, today I’m ready!
We headed to the cars and came with me, Tom and Bill in their car and Gustav was with Georg and Sam. On the way to the airport, slept on my lap. I was kind of hoping to sleep in the car…whatever…Then Bill asked:
- Hey, liebe, how was your weekend with us?
- Really? You really need to ask? It was AMAZING! You guys are the best thing that ever happened to me since I was born!! I loved it. And when I say that I loved it, I really mean it!
- That’s great, liebe!! What do you think about we coming here once or twice a month for vacation?
- It’d be great, love. But you told me you rented the island especially for THIS weekend. And rent an ISLAND twice a month is kinda expensive, don’t you think? I think it’d be cheaper if you buy one… Buy an island! HAHAHA…Hilarious!
Tom looked at Bill like who said: “you handle it! I’ve warned you…”
- Well…
- Bill?
- You know liebe…That island is very special for all of us…and… you looked so happy there, smiling all the time…
- BILL, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU BOUGHT AN ISLAND!!! YOU’RE UNBELIEVEBLE! YOU DON’T HAVE TO BUY EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE OF ME!!
Tom said:
- You know, money is not really a problem for us, and I think it’s awesome that we have an island and I don’t think it was a bad idea to buy it, but I told you how she would react!
- Yeah, Tom…you told me…
I took a HUGE breath and counted to 10 three times to calm down! Then I said:
- Thank you guys, but you can’t buy things just to make me more comfortable or something like that…
Bill was about to interrupt me but I continued:
- It’s YOUR money from YOUR hard work. If you wanted to buy the island because of YOURSELVES, and when I say yourselves I mean: You, Tom, Georg and Gustav, that’s absolutely fine. But don’t spend all your money with me. Don’t do that…please! I am almost begging you…Don’t-Do-That!! First you made that room in your house, and then you bought stuff for it when you didn’t have to! I could sleep on the couch and it’d be ok for me because I would be there with you…I love everything you do for me, but I don’t want anybody thinking that I only hanging out with you four because you give me things…and it’s not because of that… I love you guys, all the four of you, and it’s not because of the presents you give me, ‘cause I already loved you before we meet… Look, I appreciate everything you guys do for me, I REALLY do… But… but, I mean… Oh!... Just… The next time you want to buy something that isn’t just for you four, or includes me, let me know before you do it, ok?
- I never thought of it that way… But you’ll keep the room right? I mean, we did your room in our house, because it’s also your house… and each of us have our room, and we have a surprise for you on your birthday…
Tom looked at Bill like who said: “SHUT UP! You’ll ruin it!”
- What surprise?
- If we tell you, it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore… Just wait… Sorry, liebe…
When he said “Sorry” he wasn’t just apologizing for the surprise, but for everything…
- Don’t be sorry, love… I should be the one to apologize… Sorry about everything…
- That’s ok, liebe…
Bill gave me a smile and a kiss on my hand, Tom also looked at me and gave me a smile saying “It’s OK, honey!”. Then He asked:
- Can we keep OUR island? And when I say OUR, I mean that the island belongs to me, to Bill, to Gustav and Georg of course and you too, . You did so many things for us, this is yours too. I don’t wanna keep it if you don’t take it too…
- You know Tom is right… If you don’t want the island we won’t keep it… But remember that you’ll make four guys extremely sad and the old guy who used to own the island too…
Tom made a kind of a little kitty face to me, like in Shrek’s movies with the orange cat that uses boots and a hat. So cute!
We started laughing so loud that woke up…
- Yeah, honey… we can keep the island!
- What? I heard well? Am I dreaming? You have an island?
- No, WE have an island!
spent the rest of the time talking to the guys about the things we should do the next time we come back.
- Hey, liebe… we are here… Why you’re smiling?
- Oh, am I? Nothing important, let’s go.
We got out of the car and saw a lot of people outside, – most of them were girls – then flashes and more flashes. Georg arrived minutes later with Gust and Sam, he looked at Tom and Tom’s expression said “Fans and paparazzi…”
The G’s got out of the car smiling at waving at the fans. We would be a little late… I didn’t realize, but I was holding Tom’s hand, I was kind of scared, everything was a surprise and it was only 4 am… I didn’t know what to do, and I let Tom’s hand go, while he was waving and giving autographs he told me to go to the car with Sam and . Bill looked at me and said “we’ll be there in a minute” and I went.
I was with Sam and inside the car and I was shaking when Sam said:
- , calm down… you had never been through that, it’s ok!
- They are scary!! Yelling and shouting.
They looked at me like I needed a doctor…
- Sis, are you ok?
- Yes, sure! It’s just… I am exactly like them! You had to see me in their show… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I am scary!! HAHAHAHA!
The boys arrived and saw us three laughing as much as we could.
- Hey, what’s up?
- , that’s what is up!
- What? It’s true…
- What is true?
- Nothing, I was afraid of that people outside…
- Yeah, I think what she meant to say was that she was TERRIFIED… and then she started laughing like crazy!
- I said it’s nothing; it’s just that I am exactly like them, that means I can get people scared!
- Sure you can, honey!
- I mean it… don’t you fear your fans? I mean, you saw plenty of them and saw me in your show’s front line… One of the very first things you’ve told me the day we met was: “Was it you going crazy in the front line?”
- That’s true… wait! You remember the things I said to you the first time we met?
I rolled my eyes to him. I mean, tell me which fan would forget what her idol told her for the first time? Just for her and no other fans? No fan would EVER EVER forget this kind of stuff.
- Of course I remember. I was in shock but I do remember.
- Were you shocked?
- Haven’t you noticed? Broadway, here I come!
Everybody laughed after I said that.
- Yes, baby. I was very nervous that night, just because you were talking to me…
- Do you remember the first time Tom took her to our place?
- Yeah Bill, you don’t need to remember that…
Too late, people were already laughing…
- She was like “WTH”??
- That’s not true! I admit I was terrified but I thought you haven’t noticed…
- Well liebe, I’m sorry but you had to see your face when you turned around and saw us three on the couch… even Tom who was by your side laughed!!
Tom looked at me saying I’m sorry with a beautiful smile.
- I can’t believe I wasn’t there to see your face, sis…
- Neither do I!!
- Ok, it was funny. I admit…
I was between the Kaulitz – again – and everybody went to their sits, caught her book, Georg and Sam were sleeping, Gustav was listening to music and playing videogame and Tom was almost falling asleep on my shoulders, I didn’t want to sleep anymore and neither did Bill, because he was awake for some minutes now. I knew Tom had told Bill about what happened to us in the island because his brother is his best friend, they count on each other, they tell everything to each other, it was always that way and it wouldn’t change, I didn’t want to change. Then Bill said:
- Liebe, why you were smiling earlier?
- You mean in the car?
- No, I mean when you were asleep… You smiled almost all night, I guess you were dreaming…
- Yes I was… it was great!!
- I love to watch you sleeping, you know that? What was your dream about?
I got a little blushed.
- Well, first I dreamed about Daniel Radcliffe…
- Harry Potter?
- Yes, love. The guy who plays Harry Potter…
- What happened?
- Well, I was at a party and he was there… we danced, and he was getting so close… but when we were about to kiss everything changed…
- What happened?
- …
- Liebe?
- Well, I was in the island’s beach, with..with…
- With?
- With you.

Cap. 11

- Me?
- Yeah…
- Do you want to tell me?
- Well… we were alone in the island, you and I. We were lied down on the sand together… Do you remember the night you showed me my room and I was on your lap and you were singing to me?
- Yes, Liebe, of course I remember.
- Well, picture something like that, but on the sand…
- Oh…
- Yeah, it was beautiful… You were beautiful…
Then I whispered “It was perfect, you were perfect”, I don’t know if he heard, I said it so low that even I couldn’t hear it.
- You know Tom told me what happened between you two, right?
I bet my face was red like a tomato.
- Yes, love. I do.
- You know that what happened doesn’t change anything I feel for you, don’t you?
I just looked at him. I was about to cry. I love Bill; I was pretty sure about that. And Tom used to get me out of control; I love him too, in a different way, but I still loved him… more than just a friend. I don’t love Adam, I know that. Adam knows that, and I don’t think he loves me back. I just think we like each other enough to be dating, perhaps it’s because we are friends… or it’s just because I met him in the very first day I moved to Germany and I thought he was cute…But I am also sure about my feelings for Adam. Bill interrupted the “blah blah” going on in my mind by saying:
- Liebe, that doesn’t change anything in the way I feel about you.
- Really?
- I swear! Now, why were you smiling in the car?
I blushed again.
- I was thinking about the dream.
He gave me a big smile and said “It’s ok,liebe”. He put his arms around my waist carefully so he wouldn’t wake Tom up, – like that’s even possible… – held me tight, said “I love you” and when I looked at him, he kissed me. I haven’t turned my head this time, I just waited. It was soft, it wasn’t really a kiss, he just touched my lips with his and gave me a kiss. It was innocent, without second intentions. It was Bill’s lips on mine. I said:
- I love you too, love.
He started singing “In your shadow (I can shine)” just for me. We landed and Bill as still holding my waist, playing with my hair.
Ok, now I have to talk to Adam.
We landed at 05:30 a.m. I got up on my feet and tried to wake Tom up.
- Tom, let’s go. I would like to sleep a little bit before going to school… Honey? Let’s go.
- Mmmmmmmmmmmm…5 more minutes.
asked if she could try. And everybody said the same thing at the same time:
- Noo!!
- What?! It worked the last time!
- Yeah, and he almost had a heart attack.
- So?
- ?!!
- Ok, sorry!
Then Bill tried something:
- Tom, Tom? OMG! Who is that?? BRITNEY! BRITNEY! IT’S BRITNEY SPEARS!!
- WHAT? WHERE? BRITNEY!!
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
- This isn’t funny!! She is hot, or used to be…I don’t know anymore. You’re a bad brother!
- HAHAHA! No, Tom, he isn’t. And we needed to wake you up. And it was HILARIOUS!
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…
Tom got mad at us. We couldn’t stop laughing and he complained all the way to the car, decided to go with Sam and the G’s because Tom wouldn’t stop so early.
- Hey baby, don’t be mad. I don’t like it when you don’t talk to me. Would you rather to have woken you up?
No answer. Tom likes Britney, Bill told me when they were teenagers he had posters of her in his bedroom. I tried to do everything to get Tom out of that mood. I told him my best jokes and nothing, so I got mad too. He always messes around with us, and when we do it to him he gets mad?!
- Ok, Tom. Don’t wanna talk? That’s fine. Bill, love, could you drop me at Adam’s place?
Bill looked at me confused and asked:
- Weren’t you going to our place?
- Yes, I would if it wasn’t because of Mister “Bad Mood” here! Could you leave me there?
I winked an eye to Bill discretely and he understood what I was trying to do.
- …you and Adam, alone in the house…You could do something wrong…
- I don’t care! Could you leave me there?
- , think about it…
But Bill was already heading to another way… It was the path to go to ’ house, but Tom didn’t noticed.
- You’re not going to his place.
- Oh, decided to talk now? Too late, I’m going! And I’m not talking to you!
I am a good actress.
- Let’s go home.
- No, Bill is leaving me in my boyfriend’s house.
- Liebe, think about it…His parents aren’t home…you know that.
Bill was also a good actor.
- What?! He’s alone? Now, definitely, you won’t go there. Bill, home!
I looked away trying to hold a smile. It was working. The way to the boy’s house was long and silently. Bill stopped and winked at me. Then I asked Bill on purpose:
- Bill, love, can I go to my bedroom?
- Sure, liebe… I’ll get changed and I’ll catch you later.
- Thanks, love.
I passed by Tom and went to my bedroom. I got there and closed the door and started laughing silently so he wouldn’t hear it. I know Tom, he would come to me sooner or later. And it turned out to be sooner. He knocked on my door and I said “come in”.
It was Tom, he was still mad, but now he also was worried.
- Sorry about earlier, honey.
I ignored him.
- Baby, please! I was being stupid…you know me, sorry about everything…please, honey. Sweetie?
- Now you know how it feels to be ignored by someone you love.
I was still faking it, but when I said that I realized why I also got mad in the car.
- I am so sorry, sweetheart! I promise I’ll never do it again. You know how annoying I am when people wake me up…
- Ok. But don’t do it again, huh?
- Sure, honey. I promise. Now, tell me something, Adam’s parents are in town?
- No, they aren’t… He told me that on Friday…his parents would be out for 10 days.
- You were really going to his place?
- No, baby, I wasn’t. But you got me out of control! GOSH! I called and you just ignored me…I had to do something.
- Well, don’t do that again. I really thought you would leave me to be with him.
- Are you jealous?
- Yes, I am!
- Well, you don’t need to, and you know why?
- Why?
- Because I would NEVER EVER, listen carefully: EVER leave ANY of you because of a guy from school, or any other guy.
- Good to hear that.
- And memorize it. Because it’s true. Never, Tom. Ever.
- Sorry, baby.
- That’s ok, honey. I am sorry too.
- Oh, and baby?
- Yes, Tom?
- I knew you were faking in the car. Of course, that time I haven’t thought about it, but now I know you and Bill were faking.
- How?
I thought he would say “I saw ’s house” but he said something completely different:
- Bill would never hand you to Adam.
- Why?
- He loves you too.
Then he left me alone to rest before going to school. I laid down on my bed thinking about what he had said to me and slept.
I woke up with Tom knocking on my door saying it was almost time to go to school. He gave me a hug, a smile and said he would drive me and to get ready soon.
I went to the bathroom and took a long bath. I had at least two hours before going to school, so I started searching for some clothes in my closet. Bill bought me some clothes when he was decorating my room:

’s Flashback on

- WHAT? YOU BOUGHT CLOTHES?
- Some of them yes, it’s just a few. I mean, you wouldn’t take all your clothes in.
- BILL! I can’t believe you did that! I could take A FEW clothes here. And this is not a few! You filled the entire closet – which wasn’t so big – with clothes!
- Yeah, liebe. But the most of them are from modeling.
- Still! Bill…I already talked to you about this kind of stuff…
- Yeah, but they’re great, so beautiful…I’ve picked my favorites ones especially for you.
- I won’t wear it. They are beautiful. But I can’t accept it!! Bill…you already gave me a room decorated…
- Please, liebe! Please, it’s rude to deny presents… I’ve chosen just for you…
- Bill…
- You gave me a leather jacket!
- It’s different!! IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY!
- Just this time…Liebe. I am serious now. Please, I am asking. Take it.
- Bill…please..
- Liebe?
- OH! GOSH! OK…THIS IS THE LAST TIME, DO YOU HEAR ME?
- Yes!
- And Bill?
- Huh?
- Thanks…
- You’re welcome, sweetie.

’s Flashback Off

I got one of the new clothes Bill bought me. Most of them were black and they were really beautiful. Bill has good taste. Well, I got a pair of skinny denim pants, a black long shirt – this long shirt was supposed to be a dress, but it’s too short for a dress, so I use it as a shirt – and my black boots, I also got some silver accessories to match with my Tokio Hotel necklace. I did my make-up and I was ready.
Bill knocked on my door asking if I was ready, I turned around and said “yes”. Bill looked at me from my head to the toe and said:
- You look awesome, liebe.
- Thanks, love.
- You’re welcome. Tom is asking if you’re ready to go.
- Sure…I guess…
- What?
- I have the feeling I am forgetting something…
- …
- It’s very important…I can’t remember…
- Honey? Are you ready? My Goodness!! You look beautiful…
- …what is it?...Hmmm…Oh, thanks Tom…
- Honey? What?
- I think I’m forgetting something….M…MY MOTHER!! I FORGOT TO CALL HER!! SHE IS GOING TO KILL ME!!
- HAHA…don’t worry sweetie…I already called her when we arrived.
- You did? THANK YOU SO MUCH!! You saved my life! When did you become so responsible?
- HAHAHAHAHAHA…Tom? Responsible?
- Yeah, sounds funny, right?
Tom rolled his eyes for us and said:
- Since your mother told me she would kill me if something happened to you…
- I can’t believe my mother said that…
- That’s ok, honey. Shall we get going?
- Yeah.
I got my backpack, gave Bill a kiss and a “see you later” and I went to the car with Tom.
We talked about some things that happened to us in the island, and when would be the next time we were gonna go there. ‘Till he asked me why I was so tough when they wanted to give me any presents:
- Honey, I don’t hang out with you because of what you give me, it’s because I like being around the four of you.
- But we know all that… and still you don’t let us.
- All you want to give me is things that are too big, or fancy…like an island or a bedroom. I don’t feel comfortable getting stuff like that. I didn’t need a room, I could sleep on the couch and it wouldn’t be a problem, an island…I won’t even start. It’s your money, from your hard work and I don’t like spending YOUR money to buy stuff for me!
- But the room…
- Yes, the room it’s kind of ok… – nope, it’s not ok – you’ve explained to me. But, I don’t know, I just don’t feel comfortable… people might have the wrong idea about me.
We had stopped in front of my school.
- But, honey, we don’t…
- HEY! Don’t you dare to say that. You HAVE TO care about what people say about you. It’s part of your job.
- But YOU don’t have to.
- No, I don’t have to. But I do and a lot. What would your mother say if she knew you were giving some girl a place in your house and an island?
He didn’t have an answer.
- See what I mean?
- Yes…but the next time we want to give you a present, please don’t get angry.
- Ok, honey. I’ll try to… but no more presents for a while ok?
- Ok! Thanks sweetie…
- No, thank you… See you later?
- You bet… You know, young lady, you won’t get rid of me so easily.
- I don’t want to!
I gave him my best smile and left.
Adam was waiting for me next to my chair in the classroom. He gave me his beautiful smile and I had no idea of what to do. I went to his direction and told myself I would think about what to do later.
- Hey, Adam!

Cap. 12

- Hey ,! How was your weekend?
- It was wonderful!! How about yours?
- It was great. So, can you tell your boyfriend – he pointed at himself – what have you been up to last weekend?
- Well, me and went to this party to celebrate Tom’s and Bill’s birthday.
- WHAT?! You got together with fans and partied with people that don’t even know who you are?!
- Well, you can say that.
You know, this isn’t really a lie. Some fans were at that party…
- What else?
- Well, then we went to a friend’s house for a sleepover…
This wasn’t a lie either. I mean, the guys are our friends and we had a sleepover.
- So it looks like you had much more fun than I did.
- Really? Why?
- First of all, I haven’t got new clothes. You look awesome, by the way.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but I think Adam is not telling me something. Although, I can’t say a word about hiding stuff from your date.
- Thanks, honey. But what have you done?
- Well…I’m…Hmmmm…We nee…
- HEY, GUYS!!
came to us…and Brad was by her side. Now, it’s my turn! Every single time I was with Tom or Adam she used to mess around!! Now It’s my turn!
- Hey, ! Hey, Brad!! What’s up?
- Hey, guys! I’m fine, thanks ,…
Then asked us:
- So, do you wanna grab something to eat before class?
- Sure..
- Sure..
- U-hum.
We all headed to the cafeteria, but someone called Brad and he had to go, but before:
- Baby, I see you later ok?
- Of course… See ya!
Before Brad left, he gave a kiss.
- Yeah,baby…you’ll see him later! HAHAHAHAHA.
- CUT IT OFF!!
- NO WAY!
rolled her eyes, but she smiled while we were going to the coffee shop.
- So, . It’s revenge time?
- OF COURSE!!! Right, Adam?
- Sorry, dear. I won’t stay between you two!
- You suck, you know?
- I know you love me…
- If you think so…
He gave me a kiss and said:
- Ok, should I leave now?
We laughed and the bell rang.
- Ok now, we have to go. See you later, honey?
- Sure…and, ?
- Yes, Adam.
- I need to talk to you…
- Sure…later ok?
- U-hum…
- Let’s go!! You two can find a room later!!
- SIS!!! Bye, Adam..
- Bye…
We entered the class and I said goodbye to Adam, came to me and said:
- I see you haven’t talked to him yet.
- Yeah, I haven’t. Twin, I don’t know what to do!
- Have you thought about telling him?
- Well, yeah…but it’s been what? A week since we started dating?
- Yep…
- It’s the right thing to do, isn’t it?
- Yeah, . It is.
The teacher entered the classroom and looked right at me and :
- Go to your places, please!
- C’mon, Mr. Woods! You just entered!!
- Your desks… NOW!
I don’t know what the teacher’s problems are. Every single time they enter the class, the very first thing they do is separate me and . It’s not really a problem since we have our own methods to ‘speak’ during the class, but it would be easier if we sat next to each other.
Laura passed me a note from :

- What you’re gonna do?
I looked in ’s direction and mouthed ‘Thinking Of It’. Our teacher looked at us again and rolled her eyes, what meant ‘we’ll talk later’.
It was a boring class and I couldn’t take THE situation out of my mind. I had to talk to Adam. The firsts two hours of class was Mr. Woods’ class, our history teacher, and that means I spent one hour and thirty minutes sleeping! I read the first paragraph of the first chapter about the World War and because I read one paragraph I participated the class so I could sleep without any interruptions, until the bell ring!
The next class would be biology with Miss Danielle. It was kind of interesting, I really like biology and chemistry,, however it’s not my best grade at school.
Then it was lunch time, we got out of class and I saw Adam close to his class talking to his ex-girlfriend. Lucky him, I’m not jealous! I just winked at him and went to the cafeteria with and Brad. Brad went to the queue to buy his lunch and I was waiting for him with at the table when said:
- So? Any ideas?
- Yeah, I’m going to tell him.
- Really?
- Really.
- Good luck!
- I think I’m going to need it…
We started talking about random things when Brad arrived. He was in the same class as Adam. They were one year older than and I. Adam arrived just after Brad, then asked:
- So, sis, don’t you want to know what Adam was doing with Clair?
Adam looked at me a little nervous…
- Actually. No, I don’t.
- You’re a bitch!! I don’t care, I wanna know!!
- , I need to talk to you…
- Yeah, I need to talk to you too…
Before I turned around to go away so I could talk to Adam, whispered a ‘good luck’ that Brad heard and asked why, she told him to shut up and gave him a kiss. I think Brad and are doing extremely fine, I mean, Brad is a very good guy (in every way…haha) and he’s going to college next year. is fine; sadly I can’t tell the same thing about me and Adam.
Before we found a hidden place to talk I got a text message from Tom, he was asking if everything was fine…I think I’m about to figure it out.

We found a place outside the cafeteria, it was close to the front door… Adam was worried, anyone could tell.
- , listen…When you were gone…
- Look, Adam. I would like to speak first.
- OK. What do you have to say?
- Well, last weekend I went to that party with and some friends of mine that knows.
- OK, I guess…
- No, Adam. It’s not ok. We were six. Me, and four guys. Then we went to the guys’ house for a sleepover party…We were there the whole weekend…
- You went to the house of four boys?
- Yes. Listen.
- I’m listening. But, do I know them?
- I don’t think so.
- Are they older than me?
- Yes…
Adam looked really calm. I don’t know if he was faking it or what he had to tell me was worse. I had to edit the most part of the story so he wouldn’t realize who I was talking about. So, yes, I still had to lie a bit.
- Go on…
- Well, at their house we had a great time, but on Saturday when we were camping he tried to kiss me…
Adam’s face was getting serious now.
- …and I kissed him back. After that we kind of started making out, but I stopped him, ‘cause I couldn’t do that to you…
Now Adam looked like he was blaming himself about something. GOSH! Now I am nervous too!
- And on our way home his brother tried to kiss me. And I let him do it.
- You kissed one guy, then HIS brother?!?
- YEAH. BUT I AM TRULY SORRY…And his brother already knows about that. They are best friends; tell each other EVERY LITTLE THING!
- Are they mad at you?
- Actually, they’re not. They…they…
- ‘THEY’ WHAT, ?
- THEY TOLD ME THEY LOVED ME!! And they understood I was confused…and, and…
And I was crying, already. The bell rang but I wouldn’t leave that conversation. And also Adam wouldn’t leave me speaking alone. He saw me crying and he just sat by my side and put his arms around me. Not like Adam ‘the boyfriend’, but Adam ‘only the friend’. Then he said:
- Don’t forget I still have something to say.
- Ok. Your turn now.
- Well, you saw me talking to Clair… don’t you wanna know what she wanted with me?
- Actually, I’m not jealous, you know that!
- Yeah, but I have to tell you anyway.
- Ok…
- She wanted to know if I had already broken up with you.
- She did?
- Yeah…and I said that I didn’t know if I was going to break up with you, because it was up to you…
- Are you?
- Listen first. Just remember, it is still up to you if we’re breaking up or not.
Adam is so sweet!
- Ok, tell me.
His face turned serious at the same time I said that.
- Last weekend when you were at your friend’s house, Clair came to me saying she wanted to get back together.
- She did what? – This is sooo Clair, and by ‘sooo Clair’ I mean, SOOO BITCH! – Why?
- Well, she said she regret breaking up with me and wanted to get back.
- And?
- And she kissed me. I tried to say no. I swear for God I tried. But she started coming inside my house and taking off her clothes and mine.
OK. NOW I was in shock! Adam continued:
- I couldn’t stop her.
- Adam…I …I…
I took a deep breath and finally asked:
- Adam, are you still a virgin?
- No, . I’m not.
I stood up and started walking away.
- ! PLEASE WAIT!
- OK…You heard me. I’m going to hear you…
- Well, she came to me on friday…
- When I was at the party. – and I was still thinking of NOT TO cheat on him!
- Yes, you were.
- How many times did she go to your house?
- Just friday and saturday.
- So, it happened twice?
- Yes.
- Ok. Now I think I heard enough.
I was so…so… ANGRY! No, FURIOUS! THAT’S THE RIGHT WORD! I was crying again, but it was because I was SOO DAMN MAD!!
- !!
- WHAT?
- Hey!! You are the one who kissed two guys!
- I AM THE WHAT? AT LEAST I HAD THE DECENCE TO NOT CHEAT ON YOU AT THE PARTY FULL OF HOT GUYS AND SUCCEEDED TO STOP A GUY THAT I DO LIKE – LOVE – VERY MUCH BECAUSE OF YOU!
After that I walked away leaving him alone, got my cell phone and dialed ’ number, I knew she was in class but I needed my stuff back.
- ?
- HEY, OH! CALM DOWN! You know I’m in class, right?
- Yeah, I’m sorry but I need my stuff here. I am leaving now!
- You’re what? Things haven’t worked out very well, have they?
- No. Can you get my stuff here at the cafeteria?
- Yes, but I need to say something to Miss Nicole.
- Tell her I got sick. I’m waiting.
I turned off the phone and dialed the other number.
- Tom?
- Yes, honey?
- Can you pick me up?
- Now? It’s everything ok, hon?
- No, Tom. It’s not Ok!
I turned off the phone and I was crying again. Look, I know I’m not the best person in the world to yell at someone because he cheated on you, but at least I stopped before it happened to me because of HIM!! GOSH! I’M MAD!
arrived, she was worried.
- What happened? He got mad at you?
- No…I got mad at him…
- Wait…WTF?
- Yeah, he slept with Clair when we were with the guys. On friday AND saturday.
- There you go, . Tom is coming right?
- Yeah.
- I’ll pass by later to check how you’re doing.
My cell phone rang. It was Tom.
- Hey, dear. I’m here.
- Tom, it’s .
- Hmm, where’s ?
- She can’t talk now.
- What? Why?
turned around and whispered ‘she’s crying’ and after that ‘cafeteria’. I think he turned off the phone ‘cuz she turned back to me and said:
- He’s coming.
- Hmmm… WAIT! WHAT? HE CAN’T SHOW UP…
Too late, I tried to call him back but he didn’t answer the phone. In the next few minutes I saw he INSIDE the cafeteria. Fortunately, there was just me and in there.
Honey? Honey? What happened??

Cap. 13

- Just… get me out of here, ok?
I looked at Tom, but he wasn’t looking at me anymore. He was talking to . I just got one single word: Adam.
Tom got all pissed off and marched right away to Adam’s classroom. WHAT THE FUCK HE THINKS HE IS DOING?! I followed Tom trying to stop him saying I was ok and I just had to go home but he was almost purple! He wasn’t paying attention to me. He opened the class’ door and with the most controlled voice he was able to, he said:
- Excuse me. But I need to talk to Adam. Now.
All I heard was people whispering:’ It’s Tom, Tom Kaulitz…OMG!’ Especially the girls.
Adam got up and followed Tom to the hall. He was in shock. Before Adam tried to say something, Tom was yelling at him already:
- WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
I started screaming so maybe Tom would hear me:
- TOM! BABY, PLEASE! LEAVE HIM ALONE… LET’S JUST GO HOME!
I don’t think he heard me and if he did, he just ignored me.
- What? – Adam said.
- CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ?
- I just told her what happened with me and Clair…
- YOU’VE CHEATED ON HER?
Adam was…He was… He was laughing?
- Did she tell you what she did? SHE KISSED TWO OTHER GUYS!
Ok, now I can tell. Tom was purple. And Adam was against the wall. People were sneaking through the door’s window.
- TOM! PLEASE, CALM DOWN! – I said.
- WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? – Tom said – DID YOU KNOW SHE CRIED FOR YOU? WHEN SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS CHEATING, SHE CRIED! AND SHE NEVER CHEATED ON YOU! BUT STILL… SHE FELT BAD FOR YOU! AND NOW, WHEN SHE CALLED ME SHE WAS CRYING AGAIN!! DID YOU KNOW THAT?! AND LOOK AT YOU! DON’T YOU DARE TO SAY A WORD ABOUT ! SHE DESERVES MUCH MORE THAN YOU… I BET WHAT YOU DID WAS WAY WORSE THAN WHAT SHE DID TO YOU! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO HER??
- TOM! PLEASE, PLEASE. I AM BEGGING YOU, LET’S GO HOME!
- Yeah, Tom… - Adam almost spilled his name – Take your little ‘angel’ home!
OMG! WHAT WAS ADAM DOING? TOM WAS ABOUT TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE! I have to do something!! FUCK!!
Then before I realized I was between Adam and Tom. And I closed my eyes waiting for the punch that didn’t come. Brad was behind Tom holding his fist. THANK GOD!
Tom’s natural color was coming back. He held me in his arms really tight and started whispering nonsense words like ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I’m gonna kill that guy’. Then my school’s headmaster arrived and told everyone to ‘get out of his (big) way’. He started walking in our direction and he almost cursed, but instead he said:
- My Office. NOW!
And:
- GO BACK TO YOUR CLASS! There’s nothing else to see here.
Tom was still hugging me. Everybody looked at our direction then got back into the class. Then we all headed to the director’s office.
- What is going on here?
- It’s nothing, Sir. Tom got mad about a personal issue, but we were already on our way. – I said.
- Yes Sir. I’m sorry. I lost my mind, but just… When it comes to I go crazy!
- Look, Tom, isn’t it? It might have started because of a ‘personal issue’ like she said, but at the time you started yelling at a student inside the school it becomes a matter of the direction.
Where’s )? I haven’t seen her since Tom asked to ‘see’ Adam.
- Now, what do I do with you? You know you can’t threat anyone in public places, don’t you?
After a few minutes ) came with Bill. I hope Bill knows how to handle this.
- Excuse me. May I enter, Sir?
- Hmmm… Who are you?
- I’m sorry. My name is Bill Kaulitz. Tom’s brother and responsible for .
Adam looked in my direction and silently asked if he was THE brother I told him about. I said yes. Tom looked at him getting all mad again and holding me tighter. Gosh! Adam is a jackass!
Bill looked in my way, than he looked at Tom (who was still furious) and last he looked at Adam. I don’t know what Adam’s expression was, you could see everything in his face: shocking, confusion, madness, fear, sorrow… He was feeling bad. Then Bill asked:
- What’s happened?
- That’s what I would like to know. – Mr. Collins said.
- What happened, Mr. Col… - Adam started, but Tom looked at him so furious again that he shushed right away.
So I started:
- It’s nothing, Mr. Collins, really. It’s my fault…I shouldn’t have called Tom, but I didn’t know what to do, and he was the only one I could ask to pick me up… I’m sorry.
Tom started saying something but I asked him to shush.
- Look, I’m deeply sorry for what happened today. It was my fault, I know that. I should’ve known how Tom was going to act. Again, I’m sorry. I’ll take whatever you decide, it’s alright.
- Ok. But what happened before?
- It’s really personal, sir. Can’t I just have a detention?
Before Mr. Collins answered me Bill said:
- Excuse me, but I don’t think wants to talk about it. I’ll take the responsibility for what happened here today, and I promise it’s not going to happen again.
- No Bill!! You won’t take any responsibility, it was me!
- No, it wasn’t your fault.
- STOP. SAYING. THAT. It was me, now Bill, please, if you say that one more time, I’m not responsible for what I’ll say or do.
Adam sighted. Tom was about to punch him, and this time he wouldn’t miss the opportunity!
I was about to argue with Bill when he said:
- Liebe, if you wouldn’t like to let your mother know what happened here, I’ll take the “credits” for your actions. At least for today. Or would you rather me calling your mom?
I got mad now. He knows that if my mother hears a word about this “situation” not even Tom would keep me from punishment!
- So, Mr. Collins, it’s everything ok now? Can I take Tom and home?
- Yes, I guess. And let me say something, one more situation like that in the hallway and you’ll have to attend to summer classes, agreed?
- Agreed, Mr. Collins.
I looked at Bill but he was asking the headmaster to have a word with Adam. Mr. Collins was about to say “I don’t think this is a good idea” when Adam got up on his feet and followed Bill, me and Tom outside.
- What do you want? – Adam asked.
- I want to know what you have done to her.
- Why you all think she’s innocent?
- I never said that was innocent, but once you’ve made the woman I love cry, you’re in true danger.
WHAT?! BILL HAD JUST SAID “THE WOMAN I LOVE?” OH MY GODDESS!! And Tom…Tom was holding me tighter and when Bill said that he whispered:
- You’re the woman I love too, honey.
I looked into Tom’s direction and my eyes got wet, I was about to cry again. I was almost getting out of his hug so I could pull myself together when he said:
- Please, stay here with me. Don’t get out of my arms; I don’t want to go to jail because I’ve punched a high school boy.
I just got closer to him after he said that.
- She cheated on me!!
- She never did. If she told you she did it’s because she feels sorry, she never really meant to cheat on you.
- She told me she kissed you! YOU BOTH! Did you know that? And you’re still protecting her!!! ARGH! You’re disgusting!!
- Yeah, she kissed us. And whenever one of us wanted something more she stopped. Because she knew the limit!! Do you see now? feels guilty for you just because she kissed another guy.
- That’s not enough.
Bill was getting mad now. This is the first time I ever saw Bill really mad!
- What have you done to her? You haven’t told me yet.
- I slept with my ex. Twice.
Adam looked like he was having fun when he said that.
Now Bill looked at me and said:
- Liebe, really? You were crying because of a jerk like that? Who sleeps with someone else while his girlfriend is trying to keep her feelings inside so she wouldn’t get anybody hurt but herself? – now he was talking to Adam again – And look at YOU! You say we are disgusting for protecting someone we love and saying that she cheated on you, but don’t you think what you did is worse? Once I said… No, I promised that if you ever hurt you would regret it and now there’s nothing I can do because I promised myself that I wouldn’t lose my mind. But have in mind that if you ever try to talk to her again I’m going to forget this last promise I made.
Bill turned around not expecting really any answer and took me by his hands saying that I would be ok, and they were always be there for me. Any time I need them.
We got home after a few minutes; I entered my room and called Bill and Tom. I needed to talk to them.
- Guys, I need to talk to you. Come here and sit, please.
Bill and Tom looked at each other, maybe trying to figure out what I was about to say.
- First of all, I’m really confused. Love…Bill, you know that I always loved you, don’t you? And I always will. Tom, we had such good times, haven’t we? And I’m also in love with you. What can I say? You two are the guys I most love in the world, in the universe! And I love the way you protect me from everything. But Tom, you can’t risk your career showing up at my school to punch someone, although I like the way you look out for me, it’s wrong! I care about you, I worry about you. And Bill, you can’t show up every single time I am screwed!! You have so much to care about; you have your brother, the only person you can count on. Bill, I love you too much to watch you getting hurt, and the same works for you Tom. And I don’t wanna see you guys getting hurt because of me, I don’t know what to do!! I love you both, I love you so much that it hurts! It hurts every time I see Tom with another girl, it hurts every time I see Bill depressed, it hurts every time I see one of you taking a chance to get hurt instead of me.
I was crying when I said that last sentence. It hurts.
- Liebe, I love you too. – said Bill.
- Yeah, honey. And you don’t have to choose now. – Tom agreed with his brother.
- Uhum, you have so much to see…so much to try.
- Just promise us you’ll never leave us.
- But…but…i-if I don’t leave you… - I couldn’t finish that sentence, just to think about I..I freaked out.
- Don’t you dare to think about leaving us!! –Tom said.
- Liebe!! You were saying goodbye?!
I shook my head up and down agreeing.
- !!! D-O-N-T L-E-A-V-E U-S!!
Bill was about to cry…Why this has to be so difficult?
- But baby…you’ll get hurt if I don’t do this!
- , make an effort to understand something: If you leave, there’s no chance for both of us, me and Tom, not to get ourselves hurt. If you leave…
Tom got me into his arms and said:
- – it was the first time he called me that way – Promise me. You’ll never leave me. PROMISE!! WHATEVER IT TAKES!! YOU WON’T LEAVE US!! – the tears were falling in Tom’s face. So, in that situation I panic! And said the first word it came to me:
- I promise.
He pulled my face closer to his and kissed me, right there, in front of Bill. I don’t think Bill really cared because the next thing I realized was Bill kissing my neck.